Something About Friendship & Love
by b-isforblair
Summary: AU: Summary Inside!
1. Chapter 1

**thexlittlexlisa**: Here is some **Kutau** for you. The _Characters_ are more than **OOC**, and I uploaded it once and deleted it seconds after that, but even than I've got **requests** to upload it again. So here we are now, with **OOC** Characters, with a main pairing you like and with one you might not like that much. **Ikuma** & **Kukamu**. This story is something like a **triangle** between **Utau**, **Kukai** & **Amu**. I don't like **Kukamu** much, but I needed to do it, because I can't imagine **Yaya** to be **Utau's**_ best friend_, that's just gross. And **Rima** with **Kukai**? I couldn't even think of that one .. and that's why I choose** Amu** with **Kukai**. What does that mean? Well, that means, that **Ikuto**, because I can't imagine somone else to be **Kukai's** _best friend_ is in a relationship with **Rima**, and well I like **Ikuma**, I think they both are a **cute couple**, even if my _favorite_ is **Amuto**.

That's just some information for you, because I don't want to read any reviews like "Ehh Kukamu, that's gross," and "Why did you put Ikuto with Rima?" The Answer is **ABOVE**, so I won't answer any reviews like that.

Well, **Utau** is a cheerleader,** Amu** likes art very much and **Kukai** is a soccer-boy but he mostly plays basketball.

Like I that, they are all **OCC**, and I wouldn't have updated it, but I had so many requests, that I did it.

**Have Fun, I hope you like it! :)**

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><p><strong>Something About Friendship &amp; Love<br>**

**Summary: **AU. Kukai Souma has found himself in an increasingly dull relationship with Amu Hinamori. He finds himself enticed by her fun-loving friend, Utau Hoshina. But will Utau's loyalty to her best friend stop any plans for the two?

**Chapter One**

There used to be a time when Kukai Souma would find himself looking for excuses to be near Amu Hinamori. Whether it would be to ask to borrow a CD he wanted, or to talk to her about their homework.

He just _needed _to be with her.

He clearly remembered the way he would almost freeze every time her hand brushed against his. Her touches sent electricity throughout his body and he relished the slight shudder that followed.

Or at least they used to.

Now whenever his girlfriend touched him, there was no such feeling.

He missed looking at Amu and feeling his heart race. Or hearing the laughs that made him break out into a grin, or staring at her for no particular reason other than to wonder how he'd ended up with such an amazing person.

Yet, more recently he had found that his eyes would aimlessly wonder to other people whenever he was with her. It wasn't like he was looking to be with anyone else, it just happened out of boredom.

He sat in his usual place next to Amu at the lunch table. They used to hold hands, he noted, but now their hands were either on their lunch trays or kept to themselves. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Amu talking animatedly to Ikuto and Rima. Kukai knew he should probably try to pay attention, but for some reason whatever they were talking about wasn't registering in his head.

As he looked around the school grounds, his breath caught in his throat as he laid eyes on the only other entity that could make him flustered just by being in her presence.

Utau Hoshina.

In the last few weeks, Kukai had noticed that it was now only Utau who seemed to spark off the chain reaction he'd felt when he was first with Amu. He had always liked Utau, but he'd been so into Amu, he'd kind of pushed aside any burgeoning feelings.

And because he was _with _Amu, he'd still have to do the same. Although he couldn't stop his attraction to her from growing as the time wore on.

As she edged nearer and nearer to the group, she flashed the famous Hoshina smile that never failed to make Kukai think it was just for him.

"Hey friends," she greeted brightly, seeing only one available space between Kukai and Ikuto. She placed her tray down and nudged Kukai to scoot over. He did, and she grabbed hold of his shoulder for support as she climbed over in her heels and sat down.

It sent a feeling long lost through his body.

Electricity.

He almost shuddered with the unexpected chills that followed.

"Are you okay?" Utau asked as she saw the look on his face. Kukai opened his mouth to form an excuse but she gasped and let go of his shoulder; the electricity lingered for a few teasing moments. "Oh my gosh! I totally forgot that was your injured shoulder!" A hand flew to her mouth. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" she questioned.

"No, it's fine," Kukai reassured her.

"Phew," Utau's hand moved from her mouth to her chest. "We need you to score us a lot of points in tonight's game," she said with a wink. "I'll be there cheering you all on." Kukai couldn't help but smile at her comment and the thought of Utau in her uniform.

"Speaking of, are you going to the after party?" Ikuto asked. Kukai tuned out of the conversation as he tried to keep his attention off Utau and focus on Amu. But more often than not, he'd notice the way Utau's eyes darted back and forth between whoever was speaking, and how she'd run a hand absent-mindedly through her hair as she tried to think of something Nagihiko had told her earlier.

In fact it was Utau who brought Kukai back to earth as she caught him staring and laughed.

"What?" he asked, suddenly aware everyone was looking at him.

"We asked you a question, man," Ikuto said to his best friend.

"Sorry," Kukai apologized.

"We asked if you had finished Mr. Nikaidou's assignment," Rima told him.

"Oh, not yet. It's not due in until next week so I'll do it the night before," Kukai shrugged.

"I love your philosophy," Utau said, "I think I might just adopt that."

"As opposed to your current philosophy of doing it a week _after_ it's due?" Amu raised an eyebrow and Utau just grinned.

"At least it's done, right?" she asked. "Anyway, I'd better go," she said finishing the last of her orange juice.

"Already? You just got here?" Kukai blurted without thinking.

"Places to see, people to do!" Utau chimed.

"I see. We're not good enough for you anymore?" Amu teased.

"Don't be silly," Utau flicked her wrist, "You never were!" Utau replied back sticking her tongue out at her best friend before leaving the group.

Kukai's eyes trailed after her as he watched her dispose of her tray and stop to talk to someone he barely recognized from the cheer squad. He could still hear fragments of her voice as she spoke and for some reason unknown to him, it made him feel slightly happier knowing she was in his life.

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><p>"Do you think old adages are true?" Amu asked midway through looking through her CD collection. Utau barely glanced up from the magazine she was reading.<p>

"Depends," she said. "What's an adage?" Both girls laughed before Amu continued seriously.

"Old sayings. Like 'opposites attract' and stuff," Amu glanced at Utau who shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe. Why?" Utau turned her attention back to her magazine.

"Never mind. I was just wondering, sometimes it feels like the truth," Amu forced a smile as Utau looked up again.

"What's going on, Amu?" she asked as she pushed away the magazine. Amu shrugged.

"It's just sometimes I feel as if Kukai and I are too alike for our own good. I mean there's hardly any conflict between us. Sometimes we argue over bands and their best song but that's it."

Utau frowned. "Wait, so you're worried that you and soccer-boy aren't fighting? You and I have very different opinions on what makes a relationship work!"

"I know it sounds weird, but I miss that kind of playful banter. Take you and me for example, we're completely different but we're best friends because we don't agree on anything. Kukai likes almost everything I like."

"I warned you, Amu, you both are too stupid to make it work .. well mostly you," Utau tutted loudly, earning a pillow being thrown at her head.

"But you get what I mean, right?" Amu asked.

Utau nodded. "Yeah, you're both broody and like exactly the same things. Geez, half the time I think you're related!"

Amu stuck her tongue out at Utau ss her friend continued, "But some people would say it was a match made in heaven," Utau added.

"That's true," Amu said though she wasn't entirely convinced of it. "Ikuto and I were completely different and that never worked out. But when I see him with Rima, they just seem to fit, even though no-one would have believed it would work."

"I guess it just comes down to chemistry, Amu. Or just plain luck," Utau said. "That is why just hooking up with guys is so much simpler. I don't care what music he's into or what his favorite color is. Just the basics: lights on or off."

"Gross," Amu said rolling her eyes.

"Hey," Utau said a little more seriously, "Do you want me to talk to him for you?"

"No, it's okay." The pinkette shook her head.

"I could threaten him if you want."

"No…"

"Maybe torture him a little. Some handcuffs, a whip…" Utau's eyes twinkled playfully.

"Hey! Hands off my boyfriend," Amu said.

"Duh!" Utau said, "Hoes over bros, remember?" she stuck her fist out and Amu hit it with her own.

"Hoes over bros," she repeated.

"Hey," Utau said just before she went back to her magazine, "Maybe you guys were separated at birth!"

"Oh my god, would you stop?" Amu asked throwing another pillow at Amu to silence her friend.

Thankfully, Utau went back to her magazine, quoting bits of a Britney article to a disinterested Amu, who was busy wondering if it would work out between her and Kukai.

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><p>"Soccer-boy!" Utau called across the school grounds as she bounded towards him, "Wait up."<p>

"I have to ask you something. When did I get the nickname 'soccer-boy'?" he questioned.

"Since you did talk 2 hours about soccer when you were over at Amu's," Utau replied before dismissing it as quickly as she'd appeared, "Speaking of, are you treating my girl right?"

"Uh … why has she said something?" Kukai asked, suddenly very nervous.

"That's between us. Look, I know you're supposed to be all broody all the time and Amu has that whole tortured-artist thing working for her, but you can be slightly happy together, you know. Smiling won't be the end of your relationship, but what will be is you guys not fighting."

"What?" Kukai asked, "You want us to fight?"

"Well, not seriously. Just fight over what you want on your hot dogs or what movie you're going to see. Or tell her you like the new Backstreet Boys song or something to bring a … _spark _back into your relationship." Utau told him.

"So she _has _been talking to you," Kukai surmised, "Utau, I'm sorry but I think that Amu should be the one talking to me about this – not you," he told her.

Utau frowned. "Why are you not more bothered about this?" she asked. "A few months ago, you were hanging onto her like a leech and now it's like you're not even halfway interested."

Despite the fact Utau wasn't very involved when it came to their newly formed group; she was highly observant and took a special interest in everything that revolved around her best friend.

Kukai sighed. "Okay, Utau. I'll try and put a bit more effort in," he agreed.

Utau seemed convinced and nodded. "Thanks, Kukai. And if I hear otherwise, we'll be having another talk very soon," she warned.

"Got it," Kukai said.

"Oh," Utau leant in close and whispered in his ear, her hand resting on his shoulder and she made him bend down slightly so that he was at her level, "And this conversation never happened," she added.

She briefly caught his eye as they parted and gave him a small grin before walking off.

Kukai stood there for a moment, contemplating what Utau had said and trying to shake off the feeling she gave him when she touched his shoulder and whispered in his ear.

Her words resounded in his head and it took him a while to realize that the school bell had rung and he was standing alone in the playground.

Sighing deeply, he nervously scratched his head and walked into the school building.

Utau was right. He had spent months pursuing Amu and he couldn't give it up now. Maybe he'd have to put in more effort with the pinkette and forget about her best friend.

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><p><strong>thexlittlexlisa<strong>: That was it, I hope you liked the first one. I'm sorry for any grammar or spelling fails, I'm german :) And **I don't own Shugo Chara!**

**REVIEW** :)


	2. Chapter 2

Here is the next chapter, I hope you like it!

Sorry for any grammar and spelling fails, I'm german!

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><p><strong>Something About Friendship &amp; Love<strong>

**Chapter Two**

By lunch, Kukai had made up his mind. Tonight, he planned to take Amu to see the latest Johnny Depp movie, followed by dinner and a moonlight stroll on the pier.

To be fair, the two used to do the movie/dinner thing in the first few weeks of their relationship, but these days they were few and far between. Though it seemed a little mean to say it, Amu was a cheap date. She was content in just hanging out at her house, flicking through new CDs, and catching a couple of movies on TV now and again. It had started to become a routine and just … dull. Maybe with the addition of a moonlight stroll, it would be more romantic and lead to something more intimate. Something they hadn't exactly been for a while.

Confident with his new plans to bring a spark back into their relationship, Kukai went on a search for Amu to tell her the news. He hadn't been this excited to go on a date since … well, he didn't think he'd ever been this excited.

He spotted his girlfriend's pink hair by the benches with Ikuto and Rima, and almost as quickly, noticed Utau was also there.

Before he could help it, he began thinking of what it'd be like to take Utau out on a date. It was obvious she was the type to demand upscale restaurants and the thought of her in a cinema with sticky floors and gum under the chairs just didn't seem to fit.

But then again, like Amu had said several times, not many people really knew the real Utau. Not the Utau that Amu had grown up with and saw when no-one else was around.

Kukai wondered whether he'd ever see that part of Utau.

"Kukai!" Rima waved over her best friend and he made his way across the quad to their table. "Are you okay? You seem to be zoning out a lot these days."

He managed a weak smile at her comment. "I just have my mind on stuff."

"Well I hope you're focused for next week's game against Takeda High School," Ikuto told him.

"Urgh, Takeda," Utau made a face. "It means their stupid cheerleaders will be clogging up the court with their lame-ass cheers and unflattering uniforms."

"Hasn't their cheer squad beaten ours like five times in a row?" Ikuto asked.

"Four!" Utau shot back. "But I fully plan on beating them at the Classic later this year. You guys better make sure you beat their team because I'm not wasting my best cheers on a bunch of losers."

"Oh, it hurts!" Ikuto held a hand to his chest and feigned pain. Utau threw a chip at him, aiming straight for his eye.

"I'll show you pain!" she promised as she reached over and flicked his forehead. He frowned at her and rubbed the area.

"Amu control her!" he told his ex-girlfriend who promptly pulled Utau back down to her seat.

"Okay, are we done with the dramatics now?" Amu pointed a finger at the two of them. They nodded obediently.

"Kukai, do you want to go bowling with me and Ikuto tonight? Amu already said she'd come. Kind of like a double date."

"Hey, no-one invited me!" Utau cut in.

"Uh, do you want to come?" Rima offered.

"And be the fifth-wheel? No thanks. Besides I've got dinner with the family tonight."

"If you knew you were going to be busy anyway, why did you make us ask?" Ikuto sighed.

"It's nice to be invited. Plus, you all know I'd kick your ass."

"Yeah right!" Ikuto scoffed.

"Well I seem to remember kicking your ass repeatedly last time." She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'd hurt my knee; my bowling was impaired, and you guys paired me up with Kairi!"

"Whatever." Utau rolled her eyes and turned to address Kukai and Rima, the two who hadn't been there, "He pouted all the way home and refused to talk to any of us. He made Kairi get out and walk home after he called him Gutterball Tsukiyomi."

"You said you'd never call me that again!"

"Okay before there's another fight; Kukai are you coming or not?" Rima broke up the two bickering friends.

"Well, uh, actually I was planning on taking Amu out tonight," he revealed.

"Really?" The table stared at him in surprise. "And what is the occasion?" the blonde asked.

"Nothing I just… we haven't been to the movies for a while and I thought we'd go for dinner and a walk down the pier." Kukai smiled softly at her.

"See, this is why I dumped Ikuto."

"You didn't dump me!" he retorted.

"Oh, be a guy and accept it. You never did sweet things like that for me." Amu reminded Ikuto.

"No, I did other things," he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively earning him a glare from Kukai, a eye roll from Utau, a pout from Rima, and another chip aimed at his forehead from Amu.

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><p>Utau stood back and admired her work. With a satisfied grin, she stepped away from the mirror and let Amu look at her reflection.<p>

"What do you think, bestest friend?" Utau asked. "Does it scream 'Take me, I'm yours!'?" She clasped her hands together and held them to her chest, sighing in a dramatic manner.

Amu raised an eyebrow at the blonde looking back at her in a dress and make-up. "It's great, Utau, but are you sure it's not too…"

"Too…?"

"It doesn't look like I'm trying too hard, does it? Or like I'm expecting something more?"

Utau placed her hands on her hips. "Amu, this is the first time he's taking you out in like forever. If you ask me, you should be expecting a lot more."

"I know but," Amu fiddled with the earrings Utau had lent her, "We've just gotten so comfortable in our relationship that I'm wondering why he's doing this. Maybe it's a last ditch attempt to save our relationship."

"Maybe he just remembered what a wonderful, loving, caring girlfriend he has and wants to do something special for her," Utau suggested, downplaying her role in Kukais' sudden quixotic gesture.

"Or maybe my best friend threatened him into it," Amu glared knowingly at the girl.

"Okay, first of all; I didn't so much threaten as make a suggestion, and secondly; you're going to knock him off his feet. Why are you so worried?"

"I guess I just have this feeling that he only asked because you made him or that he wants to take it to the next level."

"And you don't? I've been to the next level, and I have to tell you, it's pretty awesome."

"Utau!"

"All I'm saying is don't feel pressured into anything, but don't rule out anything. So this might be the first time you'll be 'intimate' with Kukai. You had no problems doing it with Ikuto and you didn't love him that much. Why not do it with Kukai if you love him?" Utau shrugged.

"Because we've only been dating for three months? And because, until this afternoon, I felt as if he was losing interest in me."

"Creampuff and Ikuto have been dating for that long and it's obvious she's already planning their wedding or something equally crazy."

"She's not having sex with Ikuto."

"That much is obvious," Utau rolled her eyes. "But you know what they say – it's always the quiet ones."

"Ew, Utau!" Amu nudged her friend who just giggled as she checked her watch.

"Anyway, it's almost six-thirty and lover-boy will be here soon, so if you want to change into your boring jeans and a black 'I'm so deep' tee, I suggest you do it now and you won't have to worry about having sex tonight or not."

"I'm fine, thank you." Amu replied.

"Good, because I am out of here. While you go enjoy your date and Ikuto and Rima bowl like the boring married couple they'll end up, I've got a 'family' dinner." She paused and put a finger to her mouth. "Hmm, I wonder what we'll argue over today: my mom's spending habit, my step dad's affair with Gabriell from the office, or my grades? It's a puzzler!"

"Go, get out of here!" Amu told her friend with a flick of her wrist.

"I'm going! Just don't forget to call me with the details. Either later tonight or tomorrow morning, I'm not fussed." She gave her friend a grin before leaving the Hinamori house. On her way across the front lawn, she ran into Kukai, who was nervously combing back his hair with his fingers. She grinned at him too.

"Go get her, tiger!" she winked as she patted him encouragingly on his shoulder and breezed past him. His eyes followed her to her car and watched as she drove away before reluctantly focusing his attention back to the house. With a deep breath, he knocked on the door and waited.

The evening had, surprisingly, been a success. Though they'd not admitted it, both had harbored fears that it may end with a fight – or worse – the end of their relationship. However, it seemed that the gods or fate or whatever was smiling down on them. For the first time in what seemed weeks, Amu and Kukai were enjoying each other's company again and it was back to being how it used to be when they had begun dating. Back to the times where they laughed and had deep conversations about anything and everything, when they wanted to be with one another and not just waiting for something to talk about to break the silence between them.

Things really seemed to be looking up.

The date had ended up back in Amu's room where both, especially Kukai, were interested in taking it to the next level – his attention firmly back to his girlfriend.

Yet, even before Kukai could slip off his shirt, the sounds of desperate footsteps came running up the stairs. Kukai looked at an equally puzzled Amu.

"I thought you said your dad was away until the end of the month."

"I did," Amu replied as the owner of the mystery footsteps came into view at the doorway.

Utau Hoshina.

This was no ordinary Utau Hoshina. Kukai had never seen this one before.

There was no smile on her face, no bounce in her step and none of the usual Hoshina charm that surrounded her presence. The twinkle in her eyes was replaced by violet eyes brimming with tears and the signs of her black mascara beginning to run down her face. She took a look between the two of them and sighed apologetically.

"Oh God, I'm sorry – tonight was your big date." She put her hands on her head in despair. "I'll just call you tomorrow, Amu," she told her friend as she turned to go.

Remarkably, it was Kukai who stopped her.

"Utau, wait, what's wrong?" he asked taking a step towards her. He sensed the momentary hesitation before she stepped back into the room.

"I…I just really need to talk to—" she gestured towards Amu.

'_Ah'¸_Kukai thought, _'it makes sense. She wants to confide in her best friend rather than her best friend's boyfriend.'_ Although he couldn't quite help but feel a stab of disappointment at that fact.

"I'll go," he offered as he buttoned up his shirt, grabbed his jacket from the bed and placing the briefest of kisses on Amu's cheek – something he'd probably have forgotten to do if Amu hadn't started to hug him goodbye.

Utau stepped further into the room to allow the tall teenager out, giving him a small smile through her tears. He returned the smile and reassuringly patted her shoulder, squeezing it gently to let her know that he was there for her.

As he made his way down the stairs, he could hear the faint voices of the girls begin to talk.

"What happened?" Amu spoke first, the words gradually fading as Kukai walked to the ground floor and approached the door.

"We were at din… fight….. parents were arguing… mom threw da… she blamed me for ev… hates me!" Utau's sobs could be heard from his position downstairs. He contemplated lingering to hear more but figured neither of the girls would be pleased to find him there. He closed the front door gently behind him and walked the short distance to his car across the road.

He noted Utau's own car slightly erratically parked which he supposed was understandable in her current distressed state. As he sat in his car, he looked up at Amu's bedroom window and saw the silhouettes of the girls standing by the window.

Utau's pigtailed hair and slightly larger height differentiated her from Amu. He watched as Utau's profile showed her hands moving up to wipe the tears from her face. Amu's figure moved towards her friend and enveloped her into a hug.

Watching the two girls embrace, Kukai sighed to himself. While ten minutes ago he was only thinking of Amu; now his thoughts were filled with Utau. He silently made a wish that it could be him with his arms around the blonde, whispering words of comfort to her and making bad and slightly cheesy jokes in an effort to make her laugh and cheer her up. He thought of this whilst he started the engine and stole another glance up at the window.

Driving in the direction of his house, he made himself a promise that, one day, he would be the one there for her and he would do anything and everything he could to ease her troubles away.

All he had to do was wait for that one day.

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><p><strong>thexlittlexlisa: Review<strong> and would you **recommend** it please?**  
><strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**thexlittlexlisa**: So here we are again, I like this chapter, it was easy to write and even if they are OCC, I do like this story so far. Well, I need to write a chapter on my story "**We Own The Night**" (Rimahiko) but I have no idea how I should continue it. Do you have any ideas? If so, write me a PN, that would be so great!

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><p><strong>Something About Friendship &amp; Love<strong>

**Chapter Three**

By the time Monday rolled around, Kukai hadn't heard anything from Amu or Utau. His girlfriend had been unreachable all weekend, and by Sunday night, he began to worry that maybe Utau's situation had not been resolved or was much worse than he'd anticipated. He'd spent the better part of the weekend thinking of the blonde and wondering what exactly had happened.

"Hey!" Amu's voice disrupted Kukais' thoughts and the bright disposition on his girlfriend's face was both a relief and a bemusement. "How are you?" she asked before kissing him lightly on the lips and sitting down next to him.

"I'm good. How was your weekend?" Kukai asked diving straight into the question. She shrugged.

"It was good," she admitted before realization dawned on her, "and I've just remembered that I didn't call you all weekend or apologized for the way our date ended. I'm sorry. I was just with Utau all weekend."

"Its fine," Kukai told her, "I understand. Really, I'm okay about it."

"You're not mad?" Amu eyed him, wondering if this was like what Ikuto used to do; pretend he was fine but was really mad underneath. Actually, Ikuto used to just huff and mumble a 'whatever' and sulk all day until she made it up to him.

"Why would I be? You were being there for a friend who needed you. I'd have done the same thing for Rima if the situation was reversed. I get it."

Amu sighed in relief. "You really are the best boyfriend. Most guys don't understand that I just need to be there for Utau because she's my best friend and sometimes she needs me."

"How is Utau anyway?" Kukai asked.

"She had a pretty rough night." Amu admitted, "She didn't want to go back home so we spent the weekend at the mall, on the beach, at the spa… basically doing everything Utau likes."

"Is she okay now?"

"Well, yeah. I mean she'll get over it quickly, but it's always hard for her. Her parents aren't home all that often and when they are - it's not entirely a happy reunion. She does love her parents and misses them when they're gone, but when they come back something always seems to go wrong and she gets upset over something… but eventually she's back to the usual Utau – she's just a little bruised."

"She seemed really upset on Friday night though…"

Amu shook her head and cut him off.

"I know but—"

"Hey friends!" Utau's interruption caused the couple to suddenly break apart from their discussion. "I totally need you guys to help me."

"What's up?" Amu asked, seemingly not concerned with Utau's bright expression. Kukai frowned slightly. She didn't seem to care about what happened on Friday night. In fact, it was almost forgotten.

"Well my parents took away my car – don't ask me why, I think my mom switched medication or something – but anyway, I have no car, which means no means of transport. And I have no suitable walking shoes that match any of my outfits and I really don't want to take the bus like I had to this morning." Aware she was bordering on near-whining, she shot straight to the point. "And so I need someone to help me out, day every morning and after school – and at five thirty every Tuesdays and Fridays?" she gave them both a hopeful grin.

"You know I'd love to help you out in a second, but I live on the other side of town and I'd have to go past the school to get to yours. It'd take at least forty five minutes and I know you can't wake up that early," Amu told her.

"I'll do it," Kukai offered, earning looks from both girls. Utau sighed with relief.

"Oh, Kukai! My shoes and social reputation thank you." Her smile suddenly turned into a frown. "Wait, you're not going to pick me up in that truck of yours, are you?" she cringed.

Instead of being insulted, Kukai chuckled. "No, I'll be taking my mom's station wagon." It did little to appease the girl who seemed even more horrified.

"Utau, smile and say 'thank you'. It is much better than riding the bus with the freshmen," Amu prompted.

"I guess," Utau sighed. "Thanks again, Kukai. I'll see you in the parking lot after school then?"

"It's a date," Kukai agreed before wincing at the terminology. Neither of the girls noticed as Utau disappeared as quickly as she had arrived.

"Well that was awful nice of you," Amu commented.

"She's just a little bruised, right?" Kukai reminded his girlfriend of her earlier words, "Who's to say you're the only one who can look out for her? Although she didn't seem too bruised."

"Yeah, well, um – I know she was really embarrassed about turning up the way she did the other night. Apparently, boys aren't supposed to see her cry."

"Why not?"

"It's not you, it's a just a trust thing. She doesn't trust a lot of people - and when she does – she really lets her guard down. There's the Utau everyone sees in school, and then there's the Utau that doesn't wear a mask or any other metaphorical veils. That's how you really see what's in her heart. And I guess because she guards it so fiercely if anyone ever broke that trust, it'd do more than just bruise her – it'd devastate her," Amu explained sadly.

"I had no idea."

"Nobody does. Do you think anybody would be intimidated by her if they saw her like she was on Friday?"

"No, but doesn't vulnerability make people more human?"

"Utau doesn't see it that way. The most important thing to her is protecting her heart – and if that means putting up a front that that's what she'll do. But I'll tell you that the next guy to get past all of her walls would be a really special one," the pinkette confessed.

"Next?" Kukai asked.

"It's a really long story that I can't tell you. But basically, it's one of the reasons she's so protective of her heart." Kukai simply nodded in reply. "Anyway, I've got to run this comic strip down to THUD. I'll see you in AP English." She gave him another kiss before wandering off.

Kukai sighed as he took in all this new information about Utau.

"Zoning out again?" Rima tutted as she sat down opposite Kukai with her lunch tray. "You really are in a pensive mood lately."

"I was just thinking," he explained.

"And here I was thinking you were doing a puppet show!" Rima exclaimed dryly as she poked at her lunch, "So, spill. What's on your mind, bud?"

"Just some stuff Amu told me."

"About?"

"Something happened on Friday night."

"With you and Amu? Is this going to be something you should only be talking about to guys on a locker room because I don't want to hear about your love life because it's just ew!" Rima told him.

"Utau was there."

"Double ew!" Rima made a face.

Kukai rolled his eyes. "No, it was nothing like that. Utau showed up and was just really upset about something."

"Why? Did she miss a sale?" Rima teased but when Kukai didn't laugh and gave her a glare, she realized he wasn't in the mood. "Okay, so we're not joking around. What happened?" she asked but Kukai tried a different approach.

"Do you think Utau hides stuff? Like she has two different personas? One for school and the other just for her?"

"Of course. Everyone does. Nobody ever shows their true selves to anybody who they think might hurt them. It's a self-defense thing." Rima said matter-of-factly as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Even Utau?" Kukai asked, wondering if he was the only one not to perceive this. "She's always seemed real to me. I thought she never cared what people thought of her."

"It depends on how you mean real. Sure she says what's on her mind, but that doesn't automatically mean she's not pretending. So she's tactless – it's blunt and sometimes a little scathing but I'm sure it's not always meant to hurt – and if it does, I guess it's because she's trying to protect something."

"You sure seem to have a handle on this." Kukai frowned at his friend's insightfulness.

"Well Utau's really no different from Ikuto. There's the Ikuto everyone sees; the one that's aloof, mysterious and almost unbearable. And there's the Ikuto he lets me see. The sweet, caring Ikuto. I wouldn't be surprised if Utau was the same. I guess the more popular you are; the more pretending you do." When Kukai looked surprised, she sighed, "Don't tell me you actually thought Utau is just like she is in school when she's alone. Even you can't be _that_ dense."

Kukai chuckled nervously. "No, I was just surprised at how easily she can hide things like that."

Rima offered an encouraging smile before pulling out a notebook. "Anyway, your girlfriend's best friend aside – did you get any of these algebra questions?"

* * *

><p>At 3.25pm, Kukai was still waiting for Utau in the parking lot. The place was virtually empty, save for a handful of cars scattered around the area. He sighed in disappointment. Maybe she had taken the bus or found a ride from someone else. He wondered if he should call her before realizing that he didn't have her cell number.<p>

"Hey soccer-boy. You waited all this time for me?" Utau asked as she approached him and his mom's station wagon.

"I did make a promise to you and your shoes. Why did you take so long?" he questioned.

"Long? It's only been fifteen minutes."

"Twenty five, actually." Kukai replied, "But you're here now so hop in." She obliged and slid into the passenger seat while Kukai sat in the drivers' seat. "So what were you doing?" he asked.

"Just this and that. I ran into Kairi who wanted to tell me about what happened to Tadase Hotori – do you know him? He's, like, in our chemistry class. Lab partners with Saaya Yamabuki?"

"I think so."

"Well apparently he's now dating Lulu Yamamoto who just broke up with Fuyuki Kirishma after like eight months of dating, which is like the longest Fuyuki Kirishma has ever dated anybody because he's kind of a jerk. I have no idea how Lulu coped with it for so long especially because I've always thought she was a sweet girl. Anyway, so yesterday Tadase Hotori was walking home when a bunch of Fuyuki Kirishma's friends went over and beat him up. I mean, how low was that?"

"It's pretty harsh." Kukai agreed.

"That's why love triangles are dirty words. People always get hurt," Utau huffed. "And since Lulu is such a nice girl and Tadase Hotori is too – since he always lets me copy his chemistry notes because I don't get half of whatever Miss Morrison is blabbing on about; Kairi and I decided we're going to go visit him and take him flowers or some stuff bear or something to show that we're on his side," she explained. "Hey we should get all the cheerleaders and players to sign a card for him!"

"Is Tadase Hotori on the team?"

"No, but Lulu is a reserve cheerleader," she explained. "It'd be a nice thing to do."

"Yeah, it would. That's a good idea," he agreed again as Utau turned on the stereo. She frowned as some Taking Back Sunday began blasting out of the CD player.

"This is why you and Amu are together – you have the same sucky music. Do you not have anything… happy?"

"Uh, not really," he admitted with a small laugh.

She sighed and sat back in her seat. "Thanks for doing this, by the way," she said sincerely. "You totally saved my life."

"It's not a problem," he replied. "But I want something in return."

Utau looked at him questioningly. "What's that?"

"You don't pretend with me. I want to be someone you can talk to, okay? You don't have to act," he explained.

Utau blushed and looked at her fingernails. "Wow, I thought you were going to just ask me to treat you to dinner or take you to the spa or something."

"Sorry. I was just worried about you on Friday and I don't want you to think that Amu is the only person you can talk to about it. You might just find that I understand more than you think." He glanced at her. "Do we have a deal?"

She seemed to think about it before giving him a small nod. "Okay. We have a deal."

* * *

><p><strong>thexlittlexlisa<strong>: Okay, like I said, OCC, but I really did enjoy writing this chapter, especially the part in which Utau tells Kukai why she's late, I hope I could show you the gossip girl side of her :3

**REVIEW and show it your friends**!


	4. Chapter 4

**thexlittlexlisa: **So here's the next Chapter. I hope you like it, it's more focused on **Utau & Kukai**, and even slightly **Ikuma**! Sorry for any spelling and grammar fails, I'm german!

* * *

><p><strong>Something About Friendship &amp; Love<strong>

**Chapter Four  
><strong>

It had been ten days since Kukai and Utau had begun traveling to and from school together and the former was _still_ getting used to Utau's ramblings about anything and everything: clothes, gossip in school and in the celebrity world.

Occasionally she might divulge some information about herself and her family but she never touched on it for long. Kukai noticed that she'd suddenly feel a little too self-conscious when she did and there'd be a brief silence before she opened her mouth and changed the subject to something else. He didn't mind though. His journeys home used to be a time for him to quietly reflect on events but Utau's recent presence made him realize that maybe he thought way too much.

While Amu constantly joked about raising enough money for Utau to get another car so that her boyfriend would be free to have his car to himself; Kukai actually looked forward to the mornings and after school. He had to admit that he had begun to get irritated with practice as that meant he'd have to wait an extra hour and a half until they could ride home – but at least Utau wore her uniform home. Kukai had even offered to drive Utau to and from basketball games, but in their game against Takeda High School a few days ago, she had opted to go with Kairi and then spent the night at Amu's house.

Kukai couldn't help but feel a little disappointed but the second he pulled up at her house on Monday morning and she flashed him a bright smile; any grievance against her had immediately dispelled.

"Hey soccer-boy, how was your weekend?" she asked as she climbed into his station wagon. She had been waiting for him outside on her front porch and had begun walking down the footpath just as he had arrived.

"Good, and yours?" he questioned as she sat down and fastened her seat belt. She shrugged.

"It was okay. I didn't get to go to the mall like I planned because I had no car but I did manage to get myself to the video store to rent out a few movies. Have you seen 'Tristan and Isolde'?" she asked, but he shook his head. "Oh, well it's a pretty good movie. I'm not much of a tragic, epic romance fan but it was kind of sweet."

"You know," Kukai began, "if you need a ride to the mall at the weekends, you can just call me and I'll take you."

"You'd do that for me?" she seemed genuinely surprised by his offer.

"Of course."

"No, I mean you'd actually give up your weekend to take me to the mall?"

"I doubt it would take all weekend…" he began but she cut him off with a small chuckle.

"Pfft. You have _no_ idea."

Kukai chuckled too but made sure she knew the offer was still there; "Well, whenever you feel the urge for retail therapy, just let me know."

"Be careful what you wish for." Utau sighed.

For reasons unknown to him, Kukai ended up walking Utau to her locker. Perhaps it was because he wanted to be in her company. Perhaps he wanted to know her theory on why Yaya and Kairi broke up. Either way he'd ended up at her locker and holding all of her books.

However, her story was interrupted with the slamming of the locker next to her and a very angry Ikuto was revealed.

"What's up with you?" Utau frowned, clearly unimpressed with the interruption.

"He's just sulking because he was chosen to be on the dance committee this year," Rima explained as she sidled up next to her boyfriend.

"Utau and I were picked too," Kukai told the pair, "So at least you're not the only one." Ikuto just scowled.

"I'm sorry but props, tickets and glitter balls just don't mix with Ikuto Tsukiyomi. I'm not even planning to go to the stupid winter formal so I don't see why I have to waste my time planning it."

"Not even if I wanted to go?" Rima piped up.

"You want to go?"

It seemed to be news to her boyfriend. Rima dipped her head down and leant in closer to him, almost as if she was embarrassed that her best friend and the school's social queen had seen that she hadn't been asked yet.

"Well I was kind of hoping this would be the first dance I'd go to without having to go with Kukai. This is the first time I've had an actual date and it'd be our first dance together. Plus, it might be kind of romantic."

"See? You can't argue with that now, can you?" Utau said disrupting the pair and giving Ikuto a look that suggested he'd better agree. "Plus, who else besides Nagihiko will spike the punch?"

"Fine, I'll go," he agreed but tried to make it seem he wasn't doing it reluctantly by placing a light kiss on her lips, "but if it blows, we're out of there."

"Well I guess it's our job to make sure it doesn't blow. Hopefully we can get away from that ridiculous 'Titanic' theme that we've had every year. How the hell are icebergs and lifesavers romantic? People like died on that boat. The only time there was ever sex was in that car and it looked a little cramped to me." Utau muttered to nobody in particular. She was met by three people staring at her before Ikuto decided to change the subject.

"Anyway, you guys can go to the meetings. Just tell them I'm at basketball practice," he shrugged before kissing Rima as the homeroom bell rang. "I'll see you in English." Ikuto gave a nod to both Utau and Kukai as he jogged off in the opposite direction.

"My boyfriend, ever the romantic," Rima sighed with a small roll of her eyes as she turned to the two.

"Don't worry about it, Rima; at least he's going to the dance with you. Last year Amu was all emo-ing about how he wasn't taking her to the dance even though she really didn't want to go either." Utau said to her. "So you should be thrilled. This is Ikuto's first dance with an actual date."

"I guess that's something," Rima replied, feeling slightly embarrassed that her best friend's girlfriend's best friend was giving her advice on her own relationship.

"Well anyway, I've got homeroom too so I'll catch you at the first committee meeting this afternoon." She pointed a finger at Kukai who promptly handed over her books to her. She flashed him a smile as she went off in the same direction as Ikuto just a few minutes earlier.

Kukai noted Rima's worried expression and put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry about it. You heard Utau; Ikuto's going to the dance and he's going with you. I thought this is what you wanted."

"Yeah, I guess. I just wished he was a little more enthusiastic about it."

"Maybe he will get more excited about it by being on the committee. I know he seems against it now, but he might get into it." Kukai gave her a hopeful smile which she appreciated but didn't seem convinced by. "And if it helps, I'll try and get him more into the spirit."

"Really?" she seemed to brighten and looked relieved. "Thank you, Kukai."

"Although if I am exempt from the dance committee because of 'basketball priorities' then I'm totally going for it." Kukai mused.

Unfortunately for Ikuto and Kukai, the head of the dance committee this year was none other than Nikaidou. And he was adamant that the committee meetings wouldn't clash with basketball practices.

"As for this year's theme," Nikaidou said as he addressed the fifteen random junior students picked for the committee in the school gym, "I want you all to write down an appropriate winter related theme on a piece of paper and put it in this hat." He took the cap off his head and waved it around for all to see. "I'll pick one out and we'll do it; no arguments."

As he began handing out scraps of paper to the students, Utau turned to Ikuto. "You're not still sulking, are you?" He glared at her.

"Rima wouldn't take my place and neither would Nagihiko. I'm just stuck here for a month," he grumbled as she scribbled down his choice on the piece of paper. Utau wrote down her choice and put it in the cap, wiping her hands down in disgust not soon after.

"Ew, I think I just got some of Nikaidou's sweat," she complained just low enough not to catch the old man's attention. "Besides, with that attitude, maybe Nikaidou will kick you off the committee before the dance."

"No, he'd keep me here to punish me. He's big on tough love." The blue haired boy looked over at his brunette best friend, "Why aren't you complaining?"

"I'm waiting to see you battle it out with glitter," he grinned, earning a laugh from Utau. Ikuto glared but before he could retort, Nikaidou garnered their attention again.

"Okay, so I have fifteen choices in here and the winner is…" Nikaidou pulled one of the pieces of paper out of the hat and read it out, his eyes squinting as he tried to make out the lazy scrawl. "'Ice, Ice Baby'?" Everybody began to mutter and look around for the culprit.

"I only wrote that for a joke!" Ikuto exclaimed.

"Well, Mr. Tsukiyomi, it seems your prank has earned the committee another 'Titanic' theme. I think we still have the icebergs in storage somewhere." There were several groans around the room before Utau shot her hand up.

"How about we spice things up a little?" she questioned.

"No-one is going to go to the dance in their bathing suits, Miss Hoshina." Nikaidou warned.

"No, I meant that we actually go for the ice theme. Everybody can show up in white or baby blue colors and we can have snow cones and icicles on the ceilings and things." Her suggestion was met by a few impressed nods and murmurs and Nikaidou seemed to like the idea too.

"That sounds like a plan. At least we can keep the lifesavers and the boat props in storage." He seemed relieved, as were most of the other students. The Winter Formal wasn't exactly famous for being the most inventive.

Nikaidou split the students into five groups for three; music, food and drink, tickets, promotion, and decorations.

Utau, Kukai and Ikuto fell into the last category.

"Utau, I really don't want this job," Ikuto told the blond.

"Yeah, I'm with Ikuto on this one." Kukai added, grimacing at his task.

"But you promised!"

"I didn't think this is what we'd be doing. Can't we be on music or food detail?"

Utau shook her head and held out two canisters. "Glitter and glue. Use them wisely." She advised handing one to each of them. When they groaned, she added, "You did agree to help with the decorating."

"How many banners do we have to make?" Kukai asked, slowly accepting his fate.

"Three: one for the gym, one for the main hallway, and one for outside of the school." She told them, counting them off one by one on her fingers. "Anyway, I'm gone."

They turned and looked at her. "Where are you going?" Kukai asked.

"I have to go buy a new glitter ball because we can't find one in storage," she explained before turning on her heel and making her way towards the gym exit. "Oh, Kukai, I'm taking your car!" she called holding up the keys she'd swiped from his jacket several minutes before. She didn't wait for his reaction or permission and before he knew it, she was out of the gym and making her way to his car. Kukai looked from the gym doors to Ikuto, who was smirking back at him.

"What?" Kukai asked but the young man declined to answer and just shook his head with a knowing smile. "What!"

"That first 'ice' is too big," Ikuto complained as he looked at the pencil outline of their banner.

"It's the same size as the rest of the title of the dance. I don't see a difference!"

"I'm telling you it is too big. It reads 'ICE, Ice Baby'. You're not supposed to emphasize the first 'ice'. You're not supposed to emphasize _any_ word."

"We'll just let Utau decide about that," Kukai reasoned as she walked back into the gym with a glitter ball in her hands and made her way over.

"Hey, how's it goi—that 'ice' is too big." She made a face.

"Ha!" Ikuto shot back at his best friend, obviously very pleased that Utau had sided with him. Kukai held his hands up and began rubbing it out to make it slightly smaller.

"Your car is out of gas, by the way," Utau told him as she sat down next to them and passed him his car keys.

"And you didn't fill it up because…?" Kukai asked, hoping that she had enough sense to have filled it up.

"I didn't pass a gas station." She shrugged.

"Do we have enough gas to get to one?" Kukai prompted looking at her as if two horns had popped out of her head.

"Uh, no… and your car isn't in the parking lot either. It's like ten minutes from the school."

Kukai just stared at her before turning to Ikuto for back-up.

"Hey, she's your carpool," he unhelpfully supplied.

"So it's just in the _middle _of the road?"

"No, I managed to pull over but I think I've got blisters or something." She groaned pulling off her heels and wiggling her toes.

"Utau!" Kukai cried.

"What? It's totally safe. I know where it is."

Twenty five minutes of walking and they still hadn't found his car.

"Utau…" Kukai began, clearly tiring of walking around with no car in sight, "we should just give up and grab a cab or something. I'll explain it somehow to my mom."

"It's so weird, I could have sworn I parked it around here!" she sighed.

"Well it's not here. Look, let's just get home and tomorrow we'll get the bus to school. Maybe the police can find it." Kukai scratched his head and they began looking for a cab.

"Hey… where's your mom's café?" she asked. Kukai pointed in the opposite direction to what they'd been walking in.

"About two and a half miles that way. Why?"

She gave him a sweet smile and batted her eyelashes. "Now don't get mad…"

"Utau…" he warned.

"But on the way back to school, I took a different route so I could drop by Kairi's house which is just by your mom's café and that's where I left the car."

Kukais' eyes widened in disbelief, "So you mean to tell me we've been walking for half an hour and three miles in the _wrong_ direction?"

"Hey, I forgot. We usually come in this direction, so sue me if I forgot I came from the other this time." She told him. When he just glared at her, obviously a little tired from the walking and panicking because he had thought she'd lost the car. Sensing that he wasn't too pleased with her, she gave him a big smile. "Hey, look, you forgive me and I'll pay for more gas and I'll treat you to a hot chocolate. Come on, Kukai, this is funny!"

He sighed and gradually began to see the funny side of it. "Okay, so let's just walk back to the car."

"You're not mad?"

"No, I'm not mad," he reassured her, "but I will hold you to that hot chocolate." Utau sighed with relief and grinned as they began walking back to where Utau had left the car. Less than five minutes later, Kukai noticed Utau had started to limp. "Are you okay?"

"These shoes really aren't all that comfortable to walk in," she reminded him as she halted to a stop and slipped her shoes off. "Ew! I think I stepped in gum." She shuddered and held onto Kukais' arm to steady herself.

"Okay, get on my back?"

"What!"

"On my back. I'll carry you to the car." He bent down to allow her to jump on. Instead she just gave him a look.

"Kukai, I'm not jumping on your back. We're a little too old and platonic to be giving each other piggy-back rides." She said.

"But Utau, we'll be here forever if you try _crawling_ back to the car and so unless we do this, we'll just have to wait until your feet are better… and I really do think that was gum."

"Ewwww!" Utau cried obviously realizing that Kukais' offer was the best choice for them both. "Fine, okay. But you drop me and I'm suing!" she muttered as she grabbed her shoes and climbed onto his back. He seemed a little unsteady at first and she gripped his t-shirt tightly.

"You okay?" he asked as they walked the first few tentative steps.

"Uh... yeah. Have you done this before?" she asked.

"I used to give Rima piggy-back rides all the time."

"But Rima's like pint-sized, okay? A grain of rice probably weighs more than her." Utau huffed as Kukai stumbled slightly. "Don't drop me!" she warned.

"Utau, I won't drop you!" Kukai chuckled.

"Stop laughing, you're going to fall over and drop me!" she hit him on the head.

"And whacking me over the head won't?" he questioned.

"Just carry on walking." She told him as she began to relax a little and feel safer in his arms.

By the time they'd got to his mom's Café, they were both in hysterics despite miraculously avoiding injury several times. Ikuto spotted the two from across the street. At first he hadn't realized it was Kukai with Utau, but once he had realized who the two were, he was more than a little confused.

As far as he knew Kukai was still dating Amu… so why was he joking around with her best friend?

He knew the two were on good terms and he was driving her to and from school but he had no idea they were that close. Ikuto made a mental note to ask Rima about it later before running off in the other direction.

* * *

><p><strong>thexlittlexlisa<strong>: Did you like it? I hope so! So just that you aren't getting the false impression, **Rima & Kukai** are just **best friends**, nothing else! And Nikaidou ist the basketball coach in this story.

**Utau**: I sound so stupid.

**Kukai**: Well, I saved your life back then, without me we never would have made it to the Cafe!

**Utau**: Arg. Just review please.


	5. Chapter 5

**thexlittlexlisa: **words which are **bold** have an explanation at the end of this Chapter. Well in this Chapter there is a little bit of drama and Ikuto is going to be an more important character now. Hope you like it!  
>And I'm sorry for mistaken any names in the last chapter, I should really stop watching TV when writing a Chapter. So please tell me if you find any name difference!<p>

And just a short question. What do you think of Avatar: Legend Of Korra? Even though I'm from Germany (It isn't released here yet) I really do like it and every weekend I'm so excited, because there's a new episode /  
>So what do you think? Do you like it so far? I really want to hear your opinions!<p>

And you know, since recently I'm SO into Shoujo Manga's. I really do like them a lot, so if you do too, here are some which are really, really good! **Strobe Edge; Ao Haru Ride; Dengeki Daisy; We Experienced The Affair; Today, we begin to love; L-DK; Kimi Ni Todoke. **Well, mostly you know them, but which you really should read is **Ao Haru Ride** (And **Strobe Edge**), the artist is great and the both stories are really, really cute /

Okay and know I stop with my spaming, hope you like this Chapter!

* * *

><p><strong>Something About Friendship &amp; Love<strong>

**Chapter Five**

"Ikuto Tsukiyomi, to what do I owe this _great_ pleasure?" Rima said with a heavy sigh as the boy in question sat down at the counter.

"Okay, I'm dating you and you're supposed to like me so what is with the dramatic sigh?" he asked.

"I'm just tired. I've been on my feet all day and _somebody_ hasn't called me to tell me what they got on their English assignment?" she perked up hopefully.

"English assignment?" Ikuto pretended to think.

"You remembered to hand it in, right?" Rima gasped. "It was the one that we spent all night on about post-Reconstruction texts! The one that made you miss that basketball game on TV."

"Oh, you mean this assignment? I can barely make out the writing because of this big, fat-" he revealed a folded piece of paper with a red mark on the top.

"You got a B!" Rima cheered as she snatched it from him. "Everyone, my boyfriend is a genius!" she yelled to nobody in particular.

"And my reward?" Ikuto pressed a finger to his lips which was quickly met with Rima's own for a brief kiss. "All thanks to you."

"Now aren't you glad you missed that game?" Rima asked as she began making Ikuto his favorite drink as a reward.

"I caught the highlights at Nagihiko's house anyway," he replied, "but it was worth spending all that time with you. You're cute when you're determined."

"So what's the plan today?" she asked as he groaned.

"I'm meeting up with Kukai and Utau to go over some decorating stuff. Did I mention how much I hate being on this committee?"

"Only the last a hundred times. At least you're with Utau and Kukai."

"Is that supposed to be a good thing?"

"Ikuto… you and Kukai have been best friends since forever, and you've known Utau for years."

"Doesn't mean I have to like spending more time than I need to with them, especially Utau. Speaking of, actually, I saw Kukai carrying Utau on his back the other day."

"Oh yeah, they came in a couple of days ago."

"Really? Together?"

"Yeah, after that first committee meeting. You only missed them by a few minutes. They came in straight after you."

"And what were they like?" Ikuto asked. Rima shrugged.

"Um… normal?" she replied with a small frown. "They were in pretty high spirits though. Something about Utau losing the car and then she talked about her shoes."

"You didn't find that weird?" he asked.

"No. Utau always talks about her shoes."

"Not the shoes, but the fact that they were together and laughing?"

"Not really. I mean, we all hang out at lunch most of the time. I've seen Utau and Kukai talk before. If this was five months ago, then yes, but it's not really strange anymore. It was just as if you saw me and Amu talking." Rima wiped the counter as she contemplated this. "What are you trying to get at?"

"I'm just surprised. I never knew they were such good friends. Even during the meeting they were acting as if…"

"As if…?"

"Like they were dating or something." Rima laughed in disbelief at Ikuto's comment.

"Okay, now you're acting crazy."

"Give me a logical reason of why they're suddenly close."

"Fine, um… ah ha! They go to school together because Utau lost her car."

"And?"

"You said one!" Ikuto shrugged, "Okay, um, because Utau is Amu's best friend and Kukai is Amu's boyfriend. They can all hang out together."

"Then where was Amu?" he questioned. Rima let out a sigh. "What?" her boyfriend asked.

"Why are you involving yourself in this? So Utau and Kukai were in the café together. Big deal."

"If I was giving Amu a piggy-back ride, would you think it wasn't a big deal?"

"That's different; she's your ex-girlfriend. You have history." Rima couldn't help but to frown at the image in her head.

"And Kukai and Utau don't? You know as well as I do that Utau was after Kukai before he chose Amu."

"Okay, Utau might be a lot of things but I doubt she'd ever try and steal her best friend's boyfriend."

"I agree with you on that… I just have this feeling."

"Is it because you don't trust Kukai that you somehow think that he's going to screw up what he has with Amu for Utau?"

"I don't know. Amu and Utau have been best friends since I've known them and I don't want a guy to get between them."

"I'm sure that's not the case, Ikuto. Maybe you're getting the wrong end of the stick."

"Yeah, maybe all three of them are a _couple_," he winked playfully and Rima sighed.

"Just drink your juice. We have to make you understand algebra today."

* * *

><p>"Tough choice?" Amu asked as she sidled up to her best friend during lunch. Utau held up six different color swatches.<p>

"I'm trying to choose a color for the tablecloths at the dance." Utau gave a dramatic sigh, "What do you think?"

"I think… that they're all the same color." Amu looked at her.

"No they're not, Amu. See, this one is snow white and this is ice white and this one has a slight glacier blue tinge to it."

"It's a tablecloth. No-one will be looking at the tablecloth." She pointed out while Utau just gave her an open-mouthed stare.

"Amu, it's the winter formal. It has to be perfect. The dance is in four weeks and already things are going wrong! We have an oversized 'ice' on a banner, Ikuto had a disastrous incident with the glitter, and I can't have the tablecloths the wrong color because then it'll clash with the backdrops and all people will be able to talk about is how Tim threw up on tablecloths that weren't the right color!"

"Wow, you're taking this dance stuff really seriously."

"Well it has to be perfect!"

"Yeah, I'm sensing that," Amu shook her head, "Anyway, feel like going to the mall after school?"

"Today?"

"Uh huh."

"Ah."

"Ah?"

"I've already planned to meet Kukai and Ikuto for more dance stuff."

"Oh," Amu tried to disguise her disappointment with another offer, "how about after school tomorrow?"

"We have practice." Utau reminded her with a gentle nudge.

"How about after that?"

"I have homework."

"You're blowing me off for homework?"

"I'm not like you, Amu. I can't crank out an essay in an hour, plus most of my after-school activities are booked. There's cheer practice twice a week and the committee meetings another two times a week." Utau sighed as she put away the swatches of fabric. "We can do something at the weekend."

"Okay," Amu nodded, "but this weekend you are all mine. No stupid dance stuff or homework talk."

"Fine by me," Utau grinned as Kukai came up to the two. "Kukai! I need your opinion." She pulled out the swatches again and showed them to Kukai.

"Uh… they're the same color." Amu nudged her boyfriend and gave him a warning look, "I mean, this one looks great!" he pulled out the one nearest to him and waved it in front of her face.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes?" Kukai tried adding a reassuring grin and she sighed.

"Okay then, but if it clashes, I'm blaming you," she promised before turning on her heel and walking off, leaving the couple on their own.

"Should I be worried about getting on her bad side?" Kukai asked his girlfriend who just shrugged and placed a light kiss on his lips. "What was that for?"

"I can't kiss my boyfriend anymore?" Amu questioned with a slight frown.

"No… it's just that, I like it," Kukai replied kissing her back.

"You like it so much that you're free tonight?"

"I'm meeting Utau," Kukai apologized.

"And tomorrow we have practice," Amu reminded herself, "so how about the day after that?"

"After school I'm meeting the guys down at the** Rivercourt**. We haven't played a game in almost two weeks. I kind of promised them." Kukai sighed. Amu, knowing how important the Rivercourt was to him, made a slight face.

"Well how about I come watch you?" she suggested, clearly holding onto whatever she could get.

"And sit there being bored?" he said with a small smile. "No offence, Amu, but last time you came to watch you just looked miserable and upset. I could see you'd rather be somewhere else."

"It wasn't because I was bored. I just don't like basketball."

"Says the cheerleader," Kukai added. "Look, Amu, I want to hang out with you but I'd rather keep my relationship with you away from my relationship with the Rivercourt guys. We can do something at the weekend."

"I'm meeting Utau."

"All weekend?"

"You don't know Utau and her malls." Amu sighed, "I might be able to do something on Sunday."

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" he asked. Amu just gave him a look as she backed away from him.

"Finding time alone with your boyfriend isn't supposed to be hard," she reminded him. "None of this is supposed to be hard but it is." Before Kukai even had time to formulate a reply, she had disappeared down the hall.

"Kukai, you have to smile," Utau coaxed gently as the brunette sat silently brooding in the corner.

"Hey look! It's me and Amu all over again." Ikuto joked.

"Ikuto!" Utau pinched the blue haired for his insensitivity before turning back to Kukai, "Don't worry about Amu, Kukai. She frequently has these bursts of… emoing and trying to be deep and all thoughtful. Amu just can't enjoy life without thinking that The Man is trying to keep her down or something. It's just Amu Hinamori." She tried a little less helpfully than she'd intended.

"She's right, though. Relationships shouldn't be that hard." Kukai sighed heavily.

"No, relationships are hard; that's what makes them relationships. Otherwise we'd all be skipping between people every five minutes."

"Just like you, then," Ikuto quipped but he was met by two pairs of eyes glaring at him. "I'm just trying to lighten the mood. It's like someone died in here."

"Well you can help." Utau prompted. "He's your best friend." The two boys shifted uncomfortably.

"No, it's okay," they both replied in unison.

"Kukai, just try to forget about it. She'll come around eventually, and even if she doesn't, I'll make her." She ran her fingers reassuringly through his brown locks, an action not missed by Ikuto. "Come on, you've spent most of this year chasing after her, you can't give up now."

"I seem to remember the two of you hooking up earlier this year," Ikuto said coolly.

"Oh we didn't hook up. During that whole Amu-got-drugged incident, it was just me and Kukai hanging out while Amu was sleeping it off. All we did was talk." Utau explained a slight smile forming on her lips.

"Despite the circumstances, it was a good night." Kukai agreed.

"Yeah… it sucked for Amu though," she chuckled softly. "Wow, I haven't thought about that night for months."

"Me neither," Kukai coughed to cover the lie. For him that one night, those nine and a half hours, the wait for Amu to wake up was among one of Kukais' favorite memories. It was the first time he'd ever gotten a glimpse of the real Utau and realized that everything everyone had even said about her was wrong. Of course he'd never tell anyone that. He was with Amu now though it was questionable whether the two of them were still together after Amu's comment.

But that night Utau became more than just Amu's best friend. She became a person that Kukai had actually enjoyed talking to and spending time with. Now he was sitting in a gym with her and his best friend, talking about his girl problems while adding snowflake sequins to a glitter-filled banner.

"I'm so glad that tomorrow is practice day. I need to do something manly after being surrounded by glitter." Ikuto grumbled.

"I know I'm a girl and I'm supposed to like glitter, but I agree. I for one cannot wait to get back to cheering." Utau sighed happily, "I've invented like three cheers since last practice."

"One for me, I hope." Kukai added.

"Yeah, we call it 'keep the glitter in between the lines!'" she said pointing a finger to Kukais' shoddy job of adding glitter to the banner.

"Catchy."

"What are you guys doing Friday since there's no game?" Ikuto asked. "I'm taking Rima to dinner."

"Rivercourt."

"Homework."

"You're doing homework on a Friday night? Is that really code for 'going to a party?" Ikuto seemed surprised, as did Kukai.

"Well I kind of want to shake things up a little and I'm getting really behind." She shrugged.

"If you need help, I don't mind stopping by." Kukai offered.

"Well if you're going to be at the Rivercourt…"

"I won't be there all day," he chuckled. "I can drop by yours afterwards and we'll work on whatever you need help on."

"That's really cool, Kukai. I didn't really want to have to have a tutor."

"There's nothing wrong with having a tutor!"

"Yeah, well, you're dating your tutor, it's not really fair," she commented, "Besides, I don't think I'd learn much if I was making out with mine."

"Good thing you have Kukai then," Ikuto replied, catching the look on Kukais' face when he said that.

"Yup, it's a good thing I have Kukai!" Utau reiterated brightly, oblivious to what her and Ikuto's comments meant to the boy in question.

* * *

><p>By Friday Amu still wasn't really speaking to Kukai. In fact she was trying to avoid him at all costs, regardless of what her boyfriend or best friend could do. Utau constantly reassured Kukai that she'd come around eventually but with every hour that passed, that hope was beginning to dwindle.<p>

So he decided to forget his girlfriend troubles by immersing himself in his game with his friends from the Rivercourt. They'd been playing barely an hour when a familiar figure showed up with pom-poms at the ready.

"Utau, what are you doing here?" Kukai asked as he jogged up to her.

"Oh, I just thought I'd drop by. My homework was kicking my ass and instead of giving myself a pedicure, I decided to cheer you guys on."

"You're that bored?" he wondered.

"No, I just wanted to know what the Rivercourt was like. I know it's a big part of your world." She shrugged.

"Well you're just in time. I was about to beat these guys," he motioned towards the three players waiting for him and then motioned towards the bench. Utau took a seat while Kukai jogged back to the other players and set up the next game.

"You're Yukito, right?" Utau asked the geeky looking guy that she had often noticed hanging around with Kukai around school. He gave a nervous nod and tried diverting his eyes from the most popular girl in school, praying silently that he wouldn't make an idiot of himself in front of her. Utau just gave a small giggle and turned to watch the game.

* * *

><p>Amu sighed as she looked up from the drawing she had been working on. A small sketch of her deafening words to Kukai filled her canvas and she wondered just why it had been so complicated. She was sure she loved him and he loved her but why did it feel like he was slipping away from her? She had always thought that fate or the stars had willed the two together… though now it was more like some stronger force was driving a wedge between them and she didn't know how to stop it. Putting down her pencil, she decided that what she had to do was fight for her relationship back. Kukai had always been the one to do so previously so she figured it was more or less her turn.<p>

After all, this relationship was worth saving, wasn't it?

She made the short drive to the Rivercourt, making damn sure to put on a smile on her face and show Kukai she was ready to be a part of his Rivercourt world. Although the smile quickly faded when she spotted a familiar looking blonde shouting out cheers.

"Utau?" she said, making her presence known through clenched teeth. Utau's own smile faded.

"Amu, what are you doing here?" she asked, but the pinkette didn't reply. By this time the boys had stopped their game and looked at Kukai to see what he'd do or say to his girlfriend.

"So you both ditched me to spend time together?" she questioned before turning to Utau again, "I thought you had homework!"

"I do, I'm just waiting for Kukai so he can help me." Utau replied.

"Why do you all of a sudden need his help for everything?" Amu shot back. Kukai realized that this was all his fault and moved to try and avoid a confrontation between the girls.

"Amu…" he began as she glared up at him. Sensing something was obviously going to happen and her best friend didn't deserve a crowd gawking at their dramatics, she leapt off the bench and took Yukito's hand, edging away from the scene.

"So which one of you guys is going to teach me how to shoot a free throw?" she questioned and all four guys clamored around her, grateful for the distraction.

"Amu, she just showed up, I swear." Kukai told her.

"Then what's all this about you going to help her with her homework? Are you her dad now?" Amu asked. "Or are you…" she stopped herself from even thinking it.

"It's not what you think," he promised.

"What am I supposed to think, Kukai? Ever since the two of you have been carpooling to and from school, you've slowly been freezing me out. I want to spend time with my best friend and my boyfriend but I can't when they're spending all their time together on this stupid dance!" she grunted in frustration. "I know nothing is going on between you two but I just can't shake this feeling that I'm losing you."

"I know, I do too." Kukai admitted.

"So what do we do about it?" Amu asked.

"We…" he searched for the answer. Any answer. "I don't want to lose you, Amu. I want to stay your friend."

"So do I. We've spent so much time chasing each other and then trying to make the other feel the same way and we're here now, but it just feels…"

_Here it comes,_ Kukai thought, unsure of whether breaking up with Amu was a good thing or a bad thing.

"…like we're trying too hard to keep this relationship afloat that we've forgotten why we're together in the first place."

"I agree."

"So maybe we should go back to the start and remember why exactly we're together." She suggested. "How about we go to a concert like we did on our first date? Kind of like an early four month anniversary celebration?" she suggested, seemingly brightening at the thought.

"That sounds… great!" Kukai replied as she hugged him. His eyes glanced over to where Utau was trying to score a basket under the tuition of the Rivercourt gang. She managed to put one in and she cheered loudly, hugging all the boys in turn before her eyes met Kukais' from across the way. She noticed how Amu was hugging him and flashed him a smile as she put both thumbs up, mouthing a 'yay!'

Kukai struggled to smile back, suddenly realizing that he was more disappointed that Amu had decided to give their relationship another go, than if she had broken up with him.

* * *

><p><strong>thexlittlexlisa<strong>:** Rivercourt **is a special place where Kukai often play's basketball with his friends.  
>So it seems like Ikuto is concerned about their relationship, which is influencing his friendship with Kukai. So what do you think? His last sentence was a little bit harsh, right? xD<p>

**Kukai**: Wow, I'm really somewhat a bad guy, hoping that Amu wants to break up!

**Utau**: My poor best friend, you stupid guinea pig.

**Kukai**: I'm not writing it!

**thexlittlexlisa**: Shut up you two!

**Utau**: Review please!


	6. Chapter 6

**Something About Friendship & Love**

**Chapter Six**

After their talk at the Rivercourt, it seemed Kukai and Amu were now on the right track. They had spent the remainder of the weekend in each other's presence to try and get back to where they were… or at least where they were _supposed_ to be.

The result was the return of the 'Broody Twosome' - as Utau dubbed it - and Kukai feeling ever more connected to Amu, and distant from Utau. He knew he was supposed to feel more attached to his girlfriend after he'd promised he'd give them another chance, but that happiness was short-lived as he quickly returned to feeling unhappy and discontent with the relationship.

But he couldn't tell Amu that. She was smiling and seemed pleased and comfortable by the start of the new school week. The weekend had gone so well, that Amu insisted Kukai take her along to school, so when the two pulled up in Amu's car outside the blonde's house, Kukai was the first to see the surprised look on her face.

"Amu… hi!" Utau greeted trying to mask her reaction, "I didn't know you were carpooling with us today."

"I figured since Kukai and I are back on track, we should _stay _on track."

"You live on the other side of town," Utau frowned as she slipped into the backseat.

"Kukai spent the night so it seemed pointless to take two cars." Amu shrugged as she flicked the CD player on. "What do you want to listen to, Kukai? I got the new Jack's Mannequin in my backback."

"Uh, actually, we don't listen to music in the car," Utau interrupted casting a glance at Kukai, who nodded in agreement.

"So what do you do?" the pinkette questioned.

"We talk." Kukai explained. This time Amu frowned. She always had imagined the two of them just listening to music – probably Utau's choice – and their conversations being confined to basketball and cheerleading.

Unless they talked about her.

"So, um, what do you talk about?" Amu asked casually. Kukai and Utau glanced at each other and shrugged.

"Everything."

"The weather, basketball, cheerleading…"

"School, home, life, soap operas…"

"Why they're called soap operas…" Utau trailed off, "Everything."

"Oh." Was all that Amu said before she turned and looked straight out of the windscreen at the road that lay ahead of them. There was a brief moment of silence that passed between them as Utau tried to think of how to approach the situation. Was it her place to talk to Kukai or Amu? Kukai, too, was in a similar dilemma. He'd spent the whole weekend with Amu so could he now talk to Utau? Or should his attention remain on his girlfriend.

"Did you get your English assignment done?" Kukai asked Utau after making his decision.

"No," Utau sighed. "Sanjou***** kicks my ass."

Kukai chuckled, "Okay, well if you're still having trouble, I have study hall fifth period."

"Cool. I'll skip math." She replied. "So did you see the Wildcats***** game?"

"No, I was…" Kukai glanced towards Amu, "with Amu last night. How did it go?"

"The Wildcats didn't win, which is kind of a shame because that Toru Knight***** guy was playing his heart out. I can see why you picked him for your fantasy draft." Amu gave Utau a look and the blonde looked at her back. "What?"

"You watched basketball?"

"Yeah. I had nothing else but my English essay to do. It seemed like the best choice because without my car I have nowhere to go."

"Hey Utau, guess what's playing on cable tomorrow night?"

"What?"

"_Weird Science_."

"Are you kidding me? You know this calls for an Anthony Michael Hall marathon to prepare." She yelped excitedly.

"I'm not watching _Sixteen Candles._"

"It's a rite of passage! I'll lend you my DVD. You love it. You said yourself you think Molly Ringwald is hot."

"In _Pretty In Pink_!" he exclaimed, "But I'm not watching a chick flick." Utau knocked on Kukais' head and listened closely. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Checking your head. You did _just_ say you saw _Pretty In Pink._ You can't really pass judgment on chick flicks after admitting you saw that."

"That's not a chick flick. It's a 'rite of passage'." He mocked her earlier words.

"Are you making fun of me?" her eyes narrowed and he grinned at her.

Amu cleared her throat noisily and Utau and Kukai looked at her. During their banter the two had seemingly forgotten she was also in the car with them. Sitting back in her seat, Utau looked out of the window while Amu and Kukai made their own small talk and lunch plans.

Once they saw the school in the near distance, all three of them seemed relieved. For different reasons, the atmosphere in the car was tense and awkward, when usually they all were comfortable being together. Amu had been more than surprised to find how much her best friend and her boyfriend had to talk about, and both Utau and Kukai felt uncomfortable talking to one another with the addition in the car.

As Kukai parked the car, Utau bounced out of the vehicle first and waved the two of them goodbye, making her way further into the school grounds, leaving Amu and Kukai to just watch her retreating form from the car park.

"Um, so shall I walk you to History?" Kukai offered to his girlfriend, who nodded in delight, it having been so long since he had offered of his own accord.

"That you can do."

* * *

><p>Utau snapped her locker closed with a sigh and jumped when she saw Amu standing beside her.<p>

"You scared me!" she exclaimed.

"Sorry," Amu apologized, "You left in kind of a hurry this morning. Anywhere you had to be?"

Utau shook her head, "Actually, no, I was just kind of… this is going to sound insane, but I kind of felt like I was invading your space." She replied honestly. "I mean you and Kukai have just got back to a place where you wanted the two of you to be, and me hanging around seemed to disrupt that. But I was thinking about it and I realized that-"

"I want to talk to you about that," Amu interrupted, "I realize you and Kukai have become friends because of this whole carpooling deal, and I know you really need him for that, but could you just… cool off? You know how strained and weird our relationship was getting and he seemed so distant and disconnected from me, and I'm starting to feel that again and it's only been a few hours."

"You think I'm the one to blame?" Utau asked.

"Yes! No! I mean, I don't know. I don't know why he's like this and I'm not saying it's your fault; I just need time for him to be with me. You were in the car, I was totally being ignored. You and Kukai seemed to just talk about whatever you wanted. I mean, can't you get a ride from Kairi or someone?"

Utau sighed, "Amu I love you, okay? And it really hurts that you'd think I'm in the way of your relationship with Kukai, but if it's what you want…"

"It's what I want," Amu said, it being slightly shocking for Utau to hear her reiterate it.

"Then I guess I can't say no." Utau shrugged.

"You're not mad at me are you?" her friend questioned, obviously aware she might have hurt Utau's feelings a little.

"No, I'm not." In an effort to prove it, she pulled her friend into a hug, "Anything for you, Amu."

"I'm glad. So, do you have plans for lunch?" Amu asked changing the subject. Utau forced a smile.

"Actually, I need to catch up on some homework. I'll see you in Gym instead," she replied waving goodbye to Amu and walking quickly down the hall. Once she turned the corner, Utau leant against the wall and sighed.

She had to admit that she and Kukai were not exactly in line to win any friendship contests in the near future, but she had enjoyed their talks and trips together, finding herself strangely able to relate to him in some way. It could be because they both had absent fathers (and mother in her case), or it was possibly the fact that he'd seen her at her most vulnerable and hadn't turned her away or spread it across the school.

He'd simply stated that he was there for her.

Trust Utau to find a nice, decent guy she could talk to and have him end up being her best friend's boyfriend.

She immediately felt stupid. What the hell was she talking about? She'd spent less than four weeks with the guy and she was acting as if keeping away was the toughest job in the world. It should be easy for her to comply with her best friend's wishes. She and Kukai had nothing between them and she'd do anything for Amu.

So why was she so upset that Amu wanted her to stay away from him?

With another deep sigh, she made her way to the Tutor Center and peaked inside. The room was a virtual unknown to her, save for the time she and Kyouta Hibari made out in there during 5th period two semesters ago.

She wasn't surprised at all to see Rima sitting at the table by the window with her head bent over a book. After all, Rima and Ikuto's epic love story began here. Or so she had been told. She gave a tight smile to two girls who were making their way out of the room; obviously they were a little surprised to see Utau Hoshina in the Tutor Center – although if they had seen her grades, perhaps they wouldn't be _that_ surprised.

Utau cleared her throat and approached Rima with confident strides, dropping her books on her table and making the young girl jump.

"Utau!" Rima exclaimed holding a hand to her chest, "You scared me."

"Yeah, a lot of that's going around," Utau said casting a thought back to how Amu had suddenly appeared at her locker just ten minutes previously.

"What's going on?" Rima asked, wondering why on earth Utau Hoshina was standing in front of her.

"I just wondered how my favorite Tutor Girl was doing," she took a seat opposite her.

"Really?" the tutor in question didn't seem too convinced. The only time she really talked or hung around Utau was at lunch times or whenever she was around Amu or Ikuto. Although recently she had seen a lot of Utau with Kukai in Apple Café.

When two people from the table next to them got up and left, Utau turned back to Rima and gripped her arm. "Okay, I really need your help with this English assignment." Utau pulled out what she had done so far and handed it to Rima, who glanced at it briefly. "It sucks, right?"

"Uh, it's not bad… you could use a little work." She admitted. "But why are you giving this to me? Kukai is much better with this stuff than I am."

"Yeah, well that's going to be a little bit of a problem," Utau muttered but Rima caught it and gave the girl a questioning look. "Amu's feeling possessive lately. She practically batted me away." She explained somewhat bitterly. "Uh, what I meant was that Amu feels it's time for some quality brooding with her boyfriend." Even that came out bitter.

"Wow, I never knew you could be so…" Rima began but was cut off by a glare from Utau. "Never mind."

"I'm sorry, Tutor Girl, it's not you. I'm still a little sore after the way my best friend told me she didn't trust me with her boyfriend."

"She actually said that?" Rima asked, wondering if Amu could ever say something like that to her best friend.

"Not in so many words," Utau admitted, "but I don't really know how else to interpret it. She just said that she feels that I'm in the way of her and Kukai being happy together, but I've been one of their biggest fans!"

Rima thought for a moment, "I guess she's just a little threatened since her relationship with Kukai is beginning to wane and he's hanging around with you more."

"Has she been talking to you?" Utau asked, wondering when Amu and Rima had gotten so close. She shook her head.

"No, Kukai talks too. This weekend she'd told him that she felt disconnected because it seemed like he was finding time to _not _be with her." Rima revealed.

"I kind of wish Amu gave me a little credit though. And how am I supposed to avoid Kukai? We're on the dance committee together, our teams practice together… it's not like I can totally avoid seeing him."

"Well, you spent two years of High School ignoring him. And then Elementary and Middle School before that," Rima reminded her.

"But I didn't know him then. I know him now and I don't want to… stop knowing him. Amu can't claim him!" Utau frowned. Rima sighed.

"Okay, I don't know what I can do about your situation with that but I can help you with your English assignment." She offered. The blonde brightened.

"Really?"

"Really." Rima nodded. "But you have to promise to talk to Kukai about it because I have a feeling he feels differently to Amu. Maybe he can even talk to Amu for you."

Utau nodded in agreement before turning back to her English assignment. "Okay, then, Tutor Girl Work your magic."

* * *

><p>Kukai jogged up to Utau at the end of the school day. "Hey, Utau, I haven't seen you all day." Utau slowed her pace down to allow him to catch up and shrugged. "I waited for you in Study Hall. I guess you couldn't ditch math, huh?"<p>

"Well I was going to but simultaneous equations were just too tempting to pass up. Sorry I made you wait."

"It's not a problem. How about we go to my mom's café and I'll help you with your English assignment there? Amu's busy so we have a couple of hours." He explained, seemingly happy that his girlfriend was unavailable.

"I don't think that's going to work. I really need to get home." Utau tried to walk away.

"Okay, then I'll drop you home."

"Actually…" Utau paused, "I asked Kairi for a ride."

"Why would you do that?" Kukai seemed put out that she'd found another ride.

"I was just thinking that with you and Amu needing some time to yourselves, that you don't need me intruding."

"You're not intruding. Did Amu say something?" Kukai frowned. Utau gulped.

"It's not just Amu, I feel like I'm third-wheeling and I hate that feeling." She explained.

"Utau…"

"It's fine, Kukai. Amu's right. You guys can't have a relationship if you and I are friends. You know what they say; two's company… three's a crowd." Kukai felt himself biting his tongue. "And I guess this also means you don't have to give me a ride to and from school. I can make other plans."

"Like what? The bus? Walk?"

"I hear walking is the new Atkins," Utau smiled. "It's _fine_, Kukai." She repeated firmly.

"No, it's not fine at all. Amu can't tell me who I can be friends with and I regard you as one of my friends. If Amu has a problem with my friendship with you… she should talk to me, not you. This is our relationship and you're not a part of it."

"Gee, that makes me feel all warm inside," Utau muttered.

"You know what I mean, Utau. You and I are totally different from me and Amu." He said.

"I don't want to get between you."

"You're not."

"Amu will be mad…"

"I'll take the blame. I enjoy the car rides. You make Monday mornings bearable and I actually look forward to going to school and coming home."

"Me too."

"So what is the big deal?" Kukai dipped his head closer to hers. "Now, I can call my mom and tell her to make us two really big burgers; one without mayonnaise, and we can go over your assignment." He offered.

"Actually, Rima helped me with my assignment. I handed it in an hour ago." She admitted.

"That's okay. We can just hang out." Kukai said. "Come on, the car is just over here and I _know_ you like that vanilla milkshake my mom has."

Utau sighed and looked around the school grounds. Kairi had already left half an hour ago after complaining of a stomach bug and her big plan had been to try and get Ikuto or Saaya… even Nagihiko to give her a ride. Obviously she much preferred Kukais' offer.

"Fine," she finally agreed following him to the car, "But you can buy me fries too." Kukai just grinned back as he opened the passenger door for her and ran around to the driver's side, climbing in.

* * *

><p>Looking out from the school's art center, Amu caught a glimpse of her boyfriend's station wagon emerging from its parking bay and turning towards the exit. Next to him, she saw the head of blonde hair that belonged to her best friend. Obviously, Amu had misunderstood her friend's willingness to comply with her request, which had seemed to be quite reasonable for a girl trying to preserve her relationship.<p>

Clearly unimpressed, Amu grabbed her art books and stalked out of the building, trying to silence the voices inside her head that told her that things were not as it seemed.

* * *

><p><strong>thexlittlexlisa:<strong> Here is the next Chapter, I hope you liked it. There is some progress in this Chapter, so look forward to the next ones! Currently I'm writing **Oneshots**. **Amuto & Nagihiko** are finished (**I'll upload them today, so look out for it!**) and Kutau comes soon after them. Well I'm awfully tired, so I'm sorry for spelling and grammar fails!

***** **Sanjou:** Teacher

*** Wildcats: **Famous Basketballteam

*** Toru Knight: **Basketballstar


	7. Chapter 7

**Something About Friendship & Love**

**Chapter Seven**

"Did Amu call you last night?" Utau asked as she emerged from her house and jumped into Kukais' car the following day.

"Um, no. Why?" Kukai asked as they pulled away from Amu's street.

"Because she called _me_ and I spent an hour last night trying to convince her that you and I are just friends and that we _have_ to spend time because of the dance and that we're carpooling."

"So did you manage to calm her down?" Kukai questioned, hoping he didn't have to face the wrath of his girlfriend this morning.

"Well I told her that after the dance this Friday, and after I get my car back, we're all going to go back to normal so there was no need to worry." She shrugged.

"Right." He replied with a stiff nod. Was she just using him? "Of course."

"Although it's kind of shame since we seem to really get on. I mean, I've never met anyone else who gets 'Weird Science' as much as I do." She chuckled softly.

"And I don't think you ever will," he agreed.

"Anyway, I'm sure Amu will get over it eventually. She's just a little freaked because she thinks you don't care anymore." She told him before making a face and clamping a hand over her mouth, "Oops, I don't think I was supposed to tell you that."

"Don't worry, I have the suspicion that the feeling is mutual. Except instead of her caring too _little_, she's caring too _much_. I don't want us to be the type of couple who are calling each other up every minute we're apart and checking up on each other."

"No, you're the type of couple that has your paranoid girlfriend calling up her best friend to check up on you." She sighed, "Fortunately, I have a plan to help us all." She proudly held up a bag she'd brought with her.

"You do?" Kukai couldn't help but be intrigued. Anything to get Amu to back off a little would be more than welcomed by him.

"Yes, and it requires you to do most of the work so you'd better listen up." She warned.

* * *

><p>"This isn't going to work," Kukai sighed as Utau put the finishing touches to their plan. "She'll never accept. There's no way I can pull this off." He leant against Amu's locker that Utau was just about to close.<p>

"Have some faith, Kukai. This is _exactly_ the way she wants to be asked to the dance."

"Wouldn't she figure that you told me?" he questioned. She shrugged.

"Okay, we'll it's not _exactly_ how she was hoping – I made a few alterations, but I know her and I know she'll love it. Heck, even I'd love it." She told him to ease his nerves. "Now remember, if she says anything about it, don't tell-"

"I'll keep your name out of it, Utau. Thank you."

"No problem, Kukai." She saw the top of Amu's curls coming towards them and squeezed his arm gently. "Go get her, Tiger." She winked before skipping in the opposite direction and placing herself in a far-enough corner so she could watch from a safe distance.

"Hey," Kukai greeted his girlfriend before placing a soft, if slightly awkward, kiss on her cheek. "How have you been?" he questioned, though Utau had already filled him in, and the moody expression on her face was evidence enough.

"I'll tell you how I am, Kukai, I'm pretty ticked off because you told me you understood why we're giving this relationship another try. I actually believed you but the minute someone else shows up; you've got any excuse to abandon me!" she looked around the area to make sure no-one had caught her rant. She wasn't particularly a fan of those; though Utau often told her she was more or less the Queen of the Public Outburst. Fortunately, others were too preoccupied with their own business.

Kukai dipped his head down guiltily. "I know I haven't been treating you as well as I should, but sometimes I just feel like we're suffocating by being together all the time."

This time Amu seemed to have her own guilty expression, "It just seems like you've stopped caring about me." He smirked and held her by the shoulders, looking deep into her eyes.

"I'll never stop caring about you, Amu. Believe me. You and I have this… connection. I don't want to lose that. But I don't want to lose your friendship either by making us resent each other." He reasoned. She nodded to let him know she understood. Amu pulled open her locker and Kukai waited, nervously biting his lip and she saw what was inside.

She didn't seem to notice until they fell to the floor. She groaned and bent down to pick them up, wondering why Kukai was just standing there and looking at her instead of helping. As she picked up the CD cases, she realized that she didn't recognize the covers. She always had tons of CDs in her locker in case she felt like listening to one or swapped it with another friend. But these had a green transparent cover and no covers on the obvious mix CDs.

"What are these?" she asked as she read the cover of all eight CDs in her hand.

Will. You. Go. To. The. Dance. With. Me. ?

The question mark on the last CD signaled the end of the question. She looked up at Kukai with surprise and shock. There was something oddly familiar about it all. Like she'd dreamt it once before.

"Well?" Kukai broke her thoughts. "What do you say? I know you're not really into it, but I thought it would be kind of fun. Especially since you can see what all the after-school meetings resulted in. And, of course, Ikuto's artistic ability." He chuckled quietly. "So, are we on for Friday?"

Amu smiled up at him, still a little shocked about the sudden proposal. "Yeah, I guess we are." He grinned widely and kissed her on the cheek again before placing a kiss on her lips. She reached up and hugged him tightly, her smile becoming a little more genuine.

From her place in the corner, Utau bit out a gleeful sigh of relief and excitement. The two of them had been able to pull it off. Amu was going to the dance with Kukai. She noticed Rima come up to the pair and Amu explained that they were going to the dance. Utau had somehow forgotten that Ikuto and Rima would be going to the dance together too.

It was only then when she took a glance around the hallway and saw various couples floating around holding hands; or girls flipping through magazines and pointing out what dresses they'd ordered and who they were going with; or boys plucking up the courage to ask that girl that they sit behind in biology.

It was only truly then when Utau realized all the effort she'd put in to help Amu and Kukai, left her without anyone to go with to the dance she'd helped organize.

Before Kukai or Amu could come up to her, she walked away from the couples and quietly disappeared to where she could be alone.

* * *

><p>When Kukai and Rima made their excuses to go off to English together, Amu could finally allow the whole thing to sink in. She was pleased that Kukai had asked her to the dance, but she knew that it was not something he himself had come up with. She knew that she'd once told Utau that she'd love to be asked out or to a dance with a guy making her mix CDs. This stunt felt like a Utau thing. She now even recognized the green CD covers being the ones Utau had bought almost two weeks ago on a shopping trip.<p>

Disappointed that her boyfriend had to resort to planning it with her best friend – who'd no doubt did most of the prepping – instead of it coming from his own heart.

Despite Amu's initial fears, she decided to keep quiet about her concerns about Kukai's and Utau's burgeoning friendship. Mostly content with the knowledge that Kukai was taking her to the dance, Amu wasn't too bothered about the two needing to spend most of Friday afternoon decorating the hall for the event.

* * *

><p>Utau, on the other hand, was finding it increasingly difficult to remain as happy and as cheery as others usually perceived her; although she tried her hardest to try. Over the last week she had become further discontent with not having a date. She knew that most of the boys didn't see her as the 'dating' type. They usually only asked her out for a relatively easy hook-up – or just hooked up with her at a party. There was no effort to really get to know each other, and she never really felt wanted for any more than the night.<p>

Urgh, she was going to end up being a hooker by the time she was twenty-five. She groaned inwardly as she thought of her most likely future. Although she did have high standards and a pretty awesome sense of style. Maybe she'd be a trophy wife instead.

"Utau, are you even listening?" Ikuto called down to her from the step ladder he was standing on. She looked at him with an expression of pure bewilderment. Ikuto found the confused look pretty amusing especially since she resembled a fish of some sort.

"Huh?" she looked at him before glancing at Kukai, who was on a step ladder opposite his best friend.

"Is this where you wanted the banner for the dance?" Utau looked up at the main banner that they had spent the better part of three and a half hours creating.

"Yeah, sure. Just scoot it a little to the left." She pointed to her left and when Kukai and Ikuto had positioned it in a satisfactory place; she gave them both a thumbs up. She watched them fasten it above the door and waited for the two boys to get off the step ladders.

"Okay, I have two jobs you can do. Who wants what?" she asked. Kukai and Ikuto exchanged a look.

"What are the jobs?" they asked with obvious trepidation. Utau was really good with the surprises.

"One of them involves glitter…" she began when Ikuto raised his hand up.

"I call the non-glitter job." Kukai groaned and cursed the other boy. Utau simply gave him a sympathetic shrug and handed him some blue and silver glitter.

"Sprinkle some on the tables please." She told him as he walked away, still a little annoyed at Ikuto.

"So what's my job?" he asked.

"Helping me blow up the balloons," she replied. He seemed happy with his task.

"Great! Where's the helium machine." That's when Utau winced.

"Ah, well, you see Nagihiko got into the storage room earlier and he and a few of his friends kind of used it all up. You're blowing them up yourself." She handed him the three packets of colored balloons.

"I thought you said I was helping _you_."

"Yeah, well, I'm a girl."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Ikuto asked.

"I need my breath. I don't have as much as guys have." She shrugged.

"Have you heard how much you talk?" he countered. "The least you can do is blow up _some_."

"Fine, I'll do the blue ones."

"But there's only one packet of the blues." Ikuto complained before giving then up. The two sat on the bleachers and quietly began blowing them up. Once they had done two of three each, Ikuto glanced at her; sensing that she seemed unhappy.

"So you haven't been yourself lately." He told her. "Want to tell me what's up?"

She looked at him. "Blowing balloons. I need to conserve my oxygen." She replied.

"Utau, don't try and dismiss this like you always do. It takes an idiot to ignore the fact that you're obviously not as annoyingly happy as you usually are." He said. "I've spent enough time around you to know that. Well, that and Kukai mentioned it earlier to me."

At his name, Kukai snapped her head up and looked at him. "I'm fine," she told him. He nodded to indicate that he'd leave the subject alone. "So you're bringing Rima tonight?"

"Of course. I kind of promised, remember?" he shook his head, "Don't tell her but I've surprised her by booking a limo for the two of us."

"That sounds great," Utau said. "What dress is she wearing?"

"She wanted a white corsage so I'm thinking she's wearing white."

"Appropriate," Utau muttered. "I hope you guys have fun."

"How about you?" he asked. "Now, remember, I'm a guy so I don't need all the details. I don't really care if it's spaghetti strapped or a strapless gown."

"It's kind of snowflake blue. Like the blue you turn after staying the snow so long."

"The blue Nagihiko turned when he decided to hide in his snow cave when we were seven?" he questioned. She nodded. "Who are you going with?" she blanched slightly.

"Oh, you know me. A free spirit. I'm going with Kairi and Yaya. Their dates were too cheap to come pick them up. I'll find someone at the dance to go home with." She tried putting a carefree smile on her face but Ikuto wasn't totally convinced.

"You know, you can just come home with me and Rima." She raised her eyebrows.

"Despite what you've heard about me, I'm not really into that stuff, Ikuto." She said.

"I didn't mean it like that. You and I live like… three streets away from each other. I could drop you home after dropping home Rima."

"Thanks for the offer, Ikuto, but I think I'll pass. I'll be okay."

"It'll be open, you just have to say the word." She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Why, Ikuto, it seems like you're trying to look after me." He shrugged and turned away.

"I'm just saying…"

"You guys need some help?" Kukai asked as he came up to the two. Ikuto threw a packet of balloons at him and Utau shuffled across to make room for him.

They continued their work in silence.

* * *

><p>"The dance tonight should be great," Kukai said as he and Utau drove to her house after they had completed the decorations.<p>

"Yeah, it should." She agreed, "I just hope the decorations stay up."

"I heard that it's supposed to snow later on tonight."

"Please, we have the worst weathermen in the country. Remember they told us it was going to snow last March and so we all wore our winter clothes, when in fact it was the hottest afternoon ever and we spent all day in classrooms sweating to death?" she reminded him, "I still have nightmares!"

"Well I'd wrap up just in case. What time should I come pick you up?" he asked. When she didn't reply he frowned. "I am picking you up, right?"

"Actually, I've got a ride."

"Oh, someone's taking you to the dance?" he wondered why she hadn't mentioned her date to him before.

"Yeah, Kairi and Yaya. They're dropping by a little later. She has some earrings that go great with my dress."

"How about a ride home?" he wondered.

"I'm okay for that too. I thought I'd let you and Amu have your alone time." Utau sighed.

"If you're sure…"

"I'm sure." She confirmed, "By the way, you did really well with the whole 'asking her to the dance' thing."

"Thanks. I couldn't have done it without you," he chuckled.

"Oh please, it was nothing. She's my best friend, I do happen to have all her secrets, wishes and dreams locked up here," she tapped her head with a finger, "So I hope you know she's wearing white tonight."

"Already got the corsage." He grinned. "You?"

"Blue, but unfortunately I'll be corsage-less."

"I'm sorry," he felt compelled to apologize.

"It's not your fault. It's just the way I prefer it. You're not constantly bound to one person all night. You don't have to worry if they're a bad dancer, or ask them to get you punch. You don't have to let them know you're going to the bathroom, just in case they don't know where you are and think you've abandoned them. And then you don't have to feel bad when you see them dancing with Yua Sakurai afterwards." She sighed.

"In that case, whoever ditched you for Yua Sakurai is pretty stupid, if you ask me."

"Thanks Kukai, but I'm really over it. It was the seventh grade dance anyway and my date was Nagihiko." He looked surprised.

"You and Nagihiko?"

"Oh, yeah, we dated for like a whole afternoon. It was epic, really. My heart's still scarred." She grinned.

"Well Nagihiko was always stupid. I can't imagine ignoring someone as beautiful and as special as you." Kukai said. Utau stared at him, and for a moment she was rendered speechless. She managed a weak smile. "You know, I've really enjoyed helping with the dance," Kukai continued, "I know it made things difficult with Amu, but it was really fun and I doubt I would have enjoyed it as much as I did if you weren't with me. In all this time, I never knew we had so much in common. Sometimes I feel like I should be dating you."

Utau screamed inside. This wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to say that to her. What was he doing to her? Why did she want to tell him that she had fun too? Why did she want to be wearing that white corsage instead of Amu? Why was she finding that little half-grin of his adorable?

"Utau?" Kukai frowned when he saw her expression. "Are you okay?" he stared at her.

She had to get out of that car.

"Can you pull over, Kukai?" she asked. He was confused for a moment but when she repeated her request, he obliged. Once the car came to a stop, she immediately unfastened her seatbelt.

"Utau, are you okay? Did I do something wrong?" he wondered as she frantically climbed out of the car. She wondered if she should tell him the truth, but she didn't want to add to the complications. Not on dance night.

"I just remembered that I have to get some nail polish." She explained quickly.

"Well, I'll take you to the mall."

"No, it's okay. I'll run to Kairi's house. It's only…" she glanced around, "half a mile that way?" she pointed in a random direction.

"I'll drop you off."

"We only have a few hours before the dance and I'm sure you're busy. You should just go."

"Utau…" he knew that she was lying.

"Just go, Kukai. I'll see you at the dance." She told him. He sighed and nodded, reluctantly driving away.

Utau groaned inwardly as he drove off. Maybe she should have stuck around for the rest of the ride instead of totally freaking out and making her look like some sort of psycho. But she just couldn't stand the tension in the car. She had grown so uncomfortable so quickly and Kukai hadn't made anything easier.

Maybe she'd just avoid him the whole dance. Picking up her bag and slinging it on her shoulder, she walked the remaining mile to her house.

* * *

><p>Utau stepped out into the cold evening air as she took a break from the dance, which was under-way. At around 9pm, most of the attendants had already arrived and where busy dancing with their dates or friends. It was most definitely a success and Utau couldn't help but feel proud at having been a big part of it.<p>

The skin on her arms prickled as a particularly chilly gust of wind swept past. Kukai hadn't been wrong when he'd told her to wrap up. But she didn't really have anything that matched her dress. Which, by the way, was pretty kicking. Everyone had said so, and envied the way she wore it. She managed to carry it off effortlessly – just like she knew she would.

At least that was something she could count on. She had enjoyed the night when she, Kairi and Yaya had arrived in Kairi's car but once the two had found their dates, she seemed to be left behind. She'd danced once or twice with a group of the cheerleaders, but sat out of the slower dances. She briefly talked to Ikuto and Rima, and laughed when Rima dragged her boyfriend to the dance floor, despite his numerous protests. And, at Rima and Ikuto's insistence, she danced with Ikuto too, before he stepped on her foot and he got scared of her. She even allowed Nagihiko to dance with her, but quelle surprise, when she had disappeared into the bathroom for a touch up, she found him already hunting down another prey. It didn't really bother her. After all, he had also been alone that night so she couldn't really blame him for trying to multiply his chances – especially as she made it extremely clear that their dance in no way meant they'd be hooking up.

Once Kukai and Amu had shown up, things had begun to feel different. She wanted them to be happy, but she couldn't shake his earlier words to her. She couldn't help but feel even alone and abandoned.

That was why she had slipped out as quickly as possible.

"It's cold out here," Kukai said as he came up behind her a few moments later. Utau closed her eyes as he stopped beside her.

"It got a little warm in there. Plus, there were too many people and the music was kind of starting to give me a headache. I should have eaten something before I came. I heard Nagihiko spiked the punch." She rolled her eyes, "Just like every year. He doesn't seem to think of any other pranks."

Kukai chuckled, "You're going to freeze to death." He began taking off his jacket but she stopped him.

"No, Kukai, don't do that. You'll be cold, and I'll go in again soon." She told him. He slowly slipped it back on.

"I haven't seen you all night." He said, "Amu was looking for you earlier because she wanted to show you her dress and see yours."

"I saw what she was wearing. She looks gorgeous." Utau thought it best to mention his girlfriend.

"So do you." And they were back to the awkwardness.

"Utau, I'm sorry if I said anything to offend you earlier. I was thinking about it all day and I realized how what I said seemed a little forward. I think you might have misunderstood me." He apologized.

"It's forgotten, Kukai. No point lingering on it." She replied, when in reality it was the furthest thing from forgotten.

"Do you want to dance?" Kukai asked. "I'd really like to. I mean, after spending so long decorating the place and planning it, you'd think that we really should make use of it."

"I'm really not in the mood to go back inside just yet," she explained.

"That's okay," he stepped closer to her and extended his hand, "We can dance here. I'm not ready to go back inside either."

"Kukai .." she began but he gave her that half-grin of hers. She gave in despite the fact she knew she shouldn't.

Taking his hand, he pulled her to face him and put his hands modestly on her body. Utau's chilled skin craved the warmth of Kukais' embrace as they slowly, if unsteadily, danced outside the school. However, out of respect for her best friend and their friendship, she decided to keep their bodies as far apart as necessary – no, as far as they were allowed.

But before she even knew it, the warmth from Kukais' skin was slowly beginning to move onto hers. She could see his breath as he inhaled and exhaled; maybe a little quickly than usual, and then she felt his lips brush over her temple. She realized that the foot that they'd been apart beforehand had now reduced to a mere five inches.

She began to pull away and keep a respectable distance apart but it proved difficult as he seemed unwilling to let her. When he dropped a light kiss on her forehead and whispered the quietest of words; "I want to be with you," she knew it was time to stop.

Utau pushed him away with all her might, knowing that even if it had only been her imagination; they had been dangerously close.

"What are you doing?" he asked as she stared at him after being pushed so forcefully.

"Me? What are you doing?" she demanded. "What was that? You can't just do that!"

"Utau…"

"You're dating Amu. My best friend Amu! I don't think of you that way. What the hell are you doing?" she ranted at him.

"Utau, I'm sorry." Kukai ran a hand through his hair. "I'm really sorry."

"What were you thinking?" she asked.

"I don't know, Utau. I just thought that… I felt you and I had this-"

"You felt wrong! Very wrong!" she told him. Kukai reached out for her but she backed away just as another gust of wind appeared. She shivered, though the temperature between them was ice anyway. He tried to speak again but she shook her head. "Why'd you have to go and do that?"

"Because that's how I feel?" he admitted. She shook her head.

"No, you don't." she stumbled backwards in her floor length as she began to increase the distance between them. "No, you don't." She fled towards the car park, walking as fast as she could away from the dance she'd helped create.

Kukai could do nothing but watch her leave, after all he'd done enough. His eyes slowly ventured upwards as she looked to the sky for absolution or the answer of what he should do next. Something cold dropped onto his nose and melted away, and it was only then when he realized that it was starting snow.

He called after Utau, her dress barely able to protect her from the change in weather. However, she didn't turn back or even glance in his direction, her bare skin feeling flushed and suddenly hot from his revelation and her anger at him for doing something like that to her. In fact, the iciness of the snow had a welcome effect on her hot skin.

* * *

><p>"Kukai, what are you doing here? It's snowing!" Rima's voice grew louder as she joined him outside. "Amu's been lookin-" she tugged on his sleeve before noticing his eyes were transfixed on something else in the distance. She began to ask what it was before she made out the familiar blue color and figure of Utau growing ever so further away.<p>

Rima looked between the two and somehow understood. Tugging on his sleeve once again, she dragged him inside before the worst of the snow could fall.

Kukai and Utau's fall had only just begun.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Well that was Chapter 7, hope you liked it!  
>And if you have time, look up my other stories, I'm quite sad that not so many people read them ..<br>Well, have a good day!


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: We are near the end (5 to 6 Chapters to go!) I hope you like this Chapter. I'm sorry that I'm so long with updating (because of school), but in one week I will update more often (I have summer vacation than!) Hope you like this Chapter!  
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**thexlittlexlisa doesn't own Shugo Chara!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eight:<br>**

The next morning Kukai awoke with a feeling that could only be described as dread. He had completely embarrassed himself in front of the woman he wanted to be with and she was neither flattered nor amused by it. He suspected that he'd also ruined a blossoming friendship to such a degree that he wasn't quite sure it could be salvaged. Kukai had never come across a force such as Utau Hoshina before. He was sure that the reception he could expect to receive from her this morning would be less than welcome. His stomach churned at the thought of seeing her.

As part of the dance committee, they were required to come in and clear up the remains of the night before. It wasn't really the cleaning that he minded; but rather the company. At least the two of them wouldn't be alone. Ikuto was sure to be there along with the other committee members.

Pulling off the covers, he got himself out of bed, hoping that maybe they'd be able to make it through the day without things getting worse.

* * *

><p>A blond girl who lived a few streets away, and hadn't got much sleep either, was hoping for the same thing.<p>

By the time Kukai arrived at ten past nine in the morning, Utau was already there and taking charge. Surrounded by two or three people, she dished out instructions while clutching a clipboard to her chest. She didn't notice him when he entered so he was left to wait until she could tell him what his job was. He waited a few moments until she was alone to approach her. He cleared his throat and tapped her on the shoulder. Utau turned around and her expression shifted to one Kukai couldn't quite pinpoint. It wasn't anger, disappointment or pity; it clearly wasn't joy or love – it was just different and he knew that it was because of him.

"Er, hi," he forced a smile, "how are you?"

"Are you here to help?" she held her clipboard closer to her and looked at him sternly.

"Yeah, of course. I told you yesterday that I'd-"

"The trash picker thingy is over there," she pointed in the direction behind him, "You need to start picking up the litter on the floor."

"I'm on garbage duty? I thought I'd be helping Ikuto put the icebergs back in storage."

"I already assigned Kairi and Nagihiko to help Ikuto since _you_ showed up late."

Kukai glanced at his watch, "I'm only ten minutes late."

"Are you arguing with me?" she snapped back.

"No, I'm not," he held up his hands in surrender. "I'll get right on it."

"Good," she replied in the same icy tone she'd first addressed him in just moments ago.

"Listen, I'm really sorry about-"

"Kukai, we have work to do and I'm really busy," she cut him off by scribbling something down on her clipboard and didn't look at him.

"I just wanted to say-"

"Kukai…" she said more firmly, feeling more and more uncomfortable by the minute.

"Did you at least get home safely? It was snowing when you walked off. I was worried." He told her.

"I'm fine, see?" she waved her hands about. "All here. I got home safely, I don't have any symptoms of a cold, I went to bed at an appropriate time, and I didn't tell anyone, okay?" Kukai could almost see the walls around her being built up again – brick by brick, and higher than he could ever dream of reaching.

"I didn't mean-"

"Can we not talk about this? It is quarter past nine on a Saturday morning – I should still be in bed."

"Watching classic Disney cartoons, right? The old Donald Duck ones with those two chipmunks?" he remembered what she'd told him a few weeks ago. Utau just looked at him. Her expression softened slightly to seem sad.

"We have work to do…" she said quietly before walking off and leaving Kukai standing in the middle of the gym.

* * *

><p>Ikuto had seen the whole exchange. Though their voices had been low enough for no-one but themselves to hear, he could tell from their reactions and body language that something was not right. Rima had told him last night about finding Kukai standing outside the school in the snow just watching Utau walk away. She thought that maybe they'd had an argument but Ikuto had simply brushed it aside. In the weeks Kukai and Utau had start hanging around together, he'd never seen them fight. They didn't seem to have that deep or type of relationship to argue.<p>

Now Utau and Ikuto – they argued.

They bickered about the most trivial and nonsensical things. From why Ikuto preferred butterscotch pudding to chocolate pudding to why Spanish was harder to learn than French. They fought but their fights meant nothing. It was just a way to annoy each other. They'd both be over it by the next day and then they'd fight again.

But this – what Utau and Kukai seemed to be arguing or discussing – this was most definitely not nothing. Even Ikuto hadn't seen her like that. So closed up and distant, and most of all, he wanted to know why.

* * *

><p>She pretended to busy herself with her clipboard when Kukai was near. Since his confession, she'd walked away dazed and confused; wondering whether it was even possible for him to say those things to her – or even appropriate.<p>

When she had reached the car park, she'd quickly realized that she hadn't come with her car since her parents had cruelly taken it away from her. Fortunately Lulu usually forgot to lock her car and Utau had hidden away from the cold in her vehicle. Lulu had been planning to leave early from the dance since her parents had enforced a strict 10.30pm rule on her due to something that had happened two weeks ago – Utau couldn't really remember what though. She talked a lot.

The plan had originally been for Utau to find a ride with one of their other friends if she wanted to stay late, but when Lulu found Utau crying in her car, she took her straight to the Hoshina house. She managed to spin off some excuse to explain it, but Lulu could see she was lying. She'd never _ever_ seen Utau cry like this. No-one besides Amu, anyway.

Thankfully, Lulu decided to keep to the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy that they used and so the journey to her house was silent. At least it allowed her to remain in the sanctity of her own home for the rest of the night. Needless to say she hadn't been looking forward to this morning's duties. Luckily, Lulu had swung by to collect the earrings Utau had borrowed and offered her friend a ride to school.

"All the props and stuff are back in the storage room." Ikuto said as he came up to her.

"Okay, thanks." Utau replied.

"You were pretty harsh on Kukai earlier," he commented, causing Utau to look up.

"He was late."

"Hey, I'm not complaining."

"Anything else you wanted, Ikuto?" she sighed in a way that told him she was seriously not in the mood.

"You okay, Utau?" he asked finally, "You don't seem yourself."

"You asked me this yesterday, remember?"

"I know, you just seem a little less like yourself today."

"I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"If that's your story…" he turned to leave.

"Um, Ikuto, you know how you offered me a ride yesterday… the offer is still open, right?" she asked him hopefully.

He nodded, "Of course. Just let me know when you're ready to leave." With a thankful smile from her – the first since last night – he left to help take some balloons down.

By the time they were finished, she was pleased to not have run into Kukai or give him an opportunity to talk to her. She'd successfully managed to remain where people were around or simply appeared too busy to talk to anyone. It was only her, Kukai and Ikuto who remained, though the latter was just grabbing some dirty clothes from his gym locker.

Utau thought she'd escaped easily when she swiftly made it out of the gym and down the corridor without Kukai noticing. At least that's what she thought.

"Utau, wait!" he called out as he chased after her. She sighed heavily and stopped, knowing that resistance was futile. She may as well give him the chance to say whatever it was and maybe they could be on their way.

"What now?"

"We really need to talk about this."

"No, we really don't. In fact, I don't think either of us need to talk to each other again and if that doesn't work for you… I forbid you to talk to me."

"What?"

"You heard me. You and me. No more talking. Just like it's been for the last seventeen years. We've managed to happily go through life without having to utter a single word to each other and so I think we can do that again."

"You really think we can just stop talking? We carpool."

"Not anymore. My parents are coming home tonight and so I'm getting my car back. From tomorrow, there's no reason for us to even be in the same stratosphere."

"Utau, that doesn't even make sense."

"And neither does what happened last night." She brought the subject up and she immediately regretted it. Why couldn't she just walk away?

"Listen, I'm so sorry for springing that up on you the way I did. I realize it wasn't the smartest thing to do," she scoffed, "but I meant every word. I want to be with you."

"Stop it!" she warned him.

"I don't want to be with Amu anymore, Utau."

"But you are with her." She reminded him. "And you make a great couple."

"You know as well as I do we've had our problems."

"All the more reason for you to be together. Make your relationship stronger."

"What if I told you I wanted to break up with her two weeks ago? Down at the Rivercourt, I was _this close_ to thinking things had ended."

"Then why did you get back together with her?" Utau questioned.

"Because… I didn't realize it was happening. I thought she was breaking up with _me_."

"Okay, well whatever fates were working that day saw it fit not to break you two up." She said, "So there's nothing we can do. You're supposed to be with her, not me."

"Why would you think that?" Kukai asked.

"Because… you love her." She replied.

"No, I don't."

"But she loves you..." Utau shrugged, "and that's all that matters. At least to me." Kukai didn't say anything after she made clear where her loyalty lay. It was obvious that she'd not even entertain the idea of 'them' as long as Amu was in the picture. Utau noticed Ikuto approaching the two of them from the locker rooms. He seemed to look at them with a curious expression on his face so before he could interrupt, she just gave Kukai a look and walked off to meet Ikuto halfway; dragging him in the direction of the car park.

* * *

><p>"Utau, I need to talk to you," Amu told her best friend when she called later that day.<p>

"What's up, Amu?"

"You seem to be in a really bad funk."

"I can't believe you just said 'funk'"

"Don't try and dodge this, Utau. I couldn't find you last night at the dance. Rima said she saw you leave early."

"She did?"

"Yeah. Everything okay?"

"Of course, everything's fine. I just had a headache. Seems all the planning got to me."

"It was really a really great night though. Kind of a nice way to end it."

"End what?"

Amu sighed on the other end, "I… I think I should break up with Kukai."

Utau was silent. _What was going on?_

"Utau? You still there?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm here," she cleared her throat, "Um, so what makes you think you should break up with him?"

"I don't know. It's not the same since we got back together. Maybe we should just end things finally. What do you think?"

"Er, why are you asking me?"

"Well, I don't know. I guess I'm just afraid that I might ruin the one thing that I thought was good for me. Plus, you guys hang out together when you carpool and I wouldn't want to put up in an awkward position."

_Too late_, Utau thought to herself.

"You don't have to worry about that, Amu. I'm getting my car back tonight."

"Oh, the parental units are finally back?"

"They touchdown from Boca-Boca in two hours."

"Don't you mean Bora-Bora?"

"Whatever." Utau shrugged, "It just means I have to stay in tonight. Have to suck up to them and get the car back. I miss Marc."

"You named your car?" Amu chuckled.

"Haven't you?"

"Perry."

"See, mine totally makes more sense. You named your after a band member."

"Hey! They were the first band that played on the radio when I got it. Marc is just so…"

"It's my grandfather's name."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Don't be… I just made that up."

Amu laughed on the phone before she finally stopped herself, "Okay, no more distracting me. Should I break up with Kukai or not?" While she waited for Utau's opinion, Amu put on a vinyl record. Namely 'Should I Stay Or Should I Go?' by The Clash.

Fitting.

"You know, Amu, I think maybe I should just stay out of your relationships from now on. It's your decision."

"But what if I break up with him and decide that maybe I was wrong and he wants nothing to do with me?"

"So… stay with him? I don't know, Amu."

"I guess I can stay on for another week. Maybe he's just been stressed out with midterms."

"We're supposed to be studying for those already?"

"Well _you're_ not since you've never studied for anything more than twenty four hours in advance."

"That's true… I guess I still have time."

"I gotta go, Utau, Kukai is coming over in ten minutes."

"What are you going to do?" Utau asked.

"I think I'll stay with him," Amu decided, "Thanks Utau."

"Don't even mention it." Utau sighed as she hung up. "Really _don't._"

She wondered if she'd done the right thing. If both Amu and Kukai were unsure about their relationship then perhaps they'd be better off apart – especially since Kukai had already apparently proclaimed his love for her. But if they broke up… then Kukai might see it as his opportunity to pursue Utau, thinking that Amu was over him. And Utau knew that someone like Kukai wasn't easy to get over. She would be devastated even if she was the one who'd cut the thread.

Thirty minutes later, Utau's phone rang loudly. She read the caller I.D and frowned.

"Amu, why are you calling? Have you done it already? You work fast!"

"Utau…" Amu squeaked out. Utau sat up straight on her bed.

"Amu, what happened?"

"He broke up with me!"

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><p><strong>Review my lovelies!<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine:**

* * *

><p>"Amu, sweetheart, come on. You have to stop crying." Utau attempted to coax her best friend from the cocoon she had wrapped herself in since the moment she had arrived at her house. "Kukai is a jerk."<p>

"Ikuto was a jerk," Amu cried, "Kukai wasn't supposed to be."

"But I thought you were going to break up with Kukai anyway," Utau reminded her.

"I was… but then you convinced me to stay with him for a while. I was also kinda going to try again and see if we could salvage something but I wasn't expecting _him_ to do the dumping. I thought he would have fought for me when I told him I was having second thoughts."

During the curse of their ten year friendship, they had seen boys come and go. They had been there for one another through their toughest break-ups. Utau had never seen Amu cry this much over a guy before. She usually shed a few tears before blasting out her emo music and brooding over her dark drawings. Her break-up with Kukai led Utau to believe that maybe she had been more serious about their relationship and it made Utau feel even guiltier. Usually it was easy for her to help out her friend: they just had to side with the broken hearted and rant about how boys were stupid jerks and they were so much better without them.

Though Kukai wasn't her most favorite person on the planet at the moment, she still couldn't commit herself to hate him like she should. In fact, she felt horrible because she'd been slightly glad that they had broken up. Another stab of guilt riddled through her.

"Look, Amu, I know you're hurting right now but you're too strong to let a guy get the better of you. You'll get over this like you got over Ikuto and those other four guys you dated, and you were back to your brooding self in no time. Just stick on some of that depressing music you listen to and we'll move on." Amu shook her head.

"I would but everything reminds me of Kukai. The pitfalls of dating a guy with the exact same taste in music as you."

"That's great!" Utau cried, "You need a fresh start, Amu. Tomorrow we'll go trade your sad, sad music for something more fun. Maybe one of those Disney musicals where everyone breaks into song in the cafeteria. And would it kill you to start drawing pictures of rainbows and unicorns because…" She glanced around the room and made a face, "even _I'm_ about to break up with you." Amu chuckled.

"Is this the Hoshina brand of helping me?" she asked, "because it's not working."

"You laughed, didn't you? And you did stop crying for a whole ten seconds. It's a new record," Utau challenged, pulling her friend into another hug.

"Thanks so much, Utau. Did you get your car back?"

"Uh, no," she shook her head, "in fact my parents are probably freaking out right now because I'm not home."

"Then how did you get here?" Amu frowned.

"Well, once you called I just ran out of the house. I thought I'd make it to yours in twenty minutes but five minutes into the walk I realized it was uphill, and my new shoes weren't really all that comfortable so I called a cab." She explained, grinning sheepishly.

"You risked bunions and blisters in new shoes for me?" Amu asked, "I don't deserve a friend like you." She hugged Utau again.

"Oh, don't say that," Utau sighed softly, holding her friend close to her.

"No, I mean it, Utau. I really shouldn't have been a bitch to you a few weeks ago. I know you weren't trying to steal Kukai away from me – I just got so scared and jealous… and look where it got me." She exhaled heavily.

"I think we need some ice cream. You got Rocky Road?" Utau jumped off Amu's bed before she could reply, and made her way down the stairs into the kitchen. Finding two spoons and opening the freezer door, she quickly found the ice cream in question and pulled it out. Her hands clasped the cold tub tightly and she could feel her fingers beginning to numb and fuse itself to the ice. It reminded her of the infamous night of the dance when Kukai went all crazy on her and confessed how much her loved her just as it was began to snow.

And now her best friend had a broken heart. All because of his stupidity. All because he thought he had feelings for her. All because she needed a ride to school. All because her parents grounded her and she lost her car. All because life really hated her and karma was a bitch.

Utau felt tears stinging at her eyes and she cursed herself for letting Kukai get to her and making her feel guilty. She's done nothing wrong. Nothing! All she'd done was take up his offer and talk to him during twenty minute conversations to and from school. Of course, they did end up spending more time together but if she'd known this would be the result than she would have gladly have taken the bus with the freshmen.

"Utau, have you found the ice cream yet?" Amu's voice called her and Utau brushed away her tears quickly.

"Yeah! Just a minute!" she called back up. Utau looked at the ice cream tub being held in her hands and sighed as the ice began to slowly melt on the top.

Argh! She hated Kukai. Now she could never look at snow or ice or a dance – even her dress - without feeling guilty.

And Utau had really liked that dress.

* * *

><p>Utau rolled her shoulders back as she tried to shake off the aches and pains from sleeping in an uncomfortable position with a slumbering Amu sleeping on her. Not next to her. <em>On her<em>. She groaned softly as she massaged her shoulder and reminded herself to make sure Amu didn't do it again.

However, it seemed it had helped. Amu was less upset this morning – and though she still didn't feel ready enough to go to school and face the rumors and Kukai – she seemed much happier. Utau had left her alone only because Amu insisted that she needed some 'Amu time' to brood and that Utau had already done enough for her. Feeling so very guilty after hearing that, she quickly took the opportunity take a cab home so she could change and shower before climbing into her car after so long.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Marc, good to be back, huh?" she smiled as she put the new CD she was currently digging into the CD player. The sounds of Justin Timberlake filled her car and she started the engine.<p>

Driving to school usually took Utau a good twenty minutes but for some reason unknown to her, it seemed Marc was struggling.

"Come on, Marc," she cried as the engine began to splutter around halfway into the journey. "Come on, homeroom is in fifteen minutes!"

Finally the car came to a stop and Utau sighed in frustration, hitting her head on the steering wheel several times. After a few unsuccessful attempts at restarting the engine, she was resigned to call for help.

"I am going to kill someone…" she muttered as she dialed in the number for Keith Souma's Body Shop. Hopefully Kukai would already be at school. "Hey Keith, it's Utau Hoshina. My car kind of died on me. Could you come help me out?" she asked.

Keith had only met Utau once or twice at Milton's Café while she had been there with Kukai. She didn't know him all that well but she knew from Kukai that Keith was a motorcar mechanic. Of course he'd help her out. After telling him where she was, she waited for Keith's tow-truck to arrive.

Within five minutes, she saw it appear in the distance – but the guy in the truck wasn't Keith.

Utau cursed under her breath as she saw the figure of Kukai jump out of the truck and approach her. He looked nervous as he did so and Utau didn't make things any easier for her.

"Hey Ut-"

"My car died, Kukai. Probably something with the engine. Could you check it out and not talk to me in the process?" she snapped at him, deciding it would be best to set the conditions now rather than later and prevent any further outbursts of love or whatever he wanted to call it.

He nodded and spent barely five minutes looking the car over before shaking his head. "Look, I'm going to have to tow this in but I can drop you to school before I do. We'll get there before homeroom ends," Utau didn't look too impressed with his suggestion, "or you could call someone else to pick you up."

She glanced at her watch and realized most people would already be in school by now and none of them would be able to collect her. "No, it's okay. Just be quick about it. I have a pop quiz first period." Kukai frowned at her excuse but let it go. Utau grabbed her bag from her car and sat inside the truck, waiting for Kukai to hoist her car onto the truck and take her to school.

Once he'd finished securing her car to the truck, he climbed into the driver's seat and Utau looked out of the window beside her – determined to give him the silent treatment. Kukai had other plans.

"How's Amu?" he asked once he started the engine. He knew that Utau wouldn't be able to keep her mouth shut once he mentioned his disastrous break-up with her best friend. She definitely would have an opinion about it.

"She's fine. Totally better off without you. Both of us are." She replied curtly, if somewhat dryly, "In fact, we were up all night laughing about you."

"Right." Kukai nodded. He wasn't quite sure if Utau was telling the truth or not. The only thing he would have expected was the two of them trashing him all night. "So, she's okay?"

"She will be. It's a pretty crappy thing to do to her before your date, by the way."

"You knew as well as I did that it wasn't working. I'm just surprised she didn't break up with me first." Kukai admitted.

"Well you could have given her a chance," Utau replied but cut him off before he could ask for an elaboration, "besides it's all your fault anyway. If you weren't so ass-headed to think that I – me, Utau Hoshina – would ever be into you and betray my friend like that, then you might still be together. It's your loss, not hers."

"Does she know why?" Kukai wondered if Utau had told her about the night at the dance and the real reason behind the break up.

"And let me break her heart? No. She doesn't know. That's not to say that she'll never know. I think she's better off thinking that it was because you're a jerk rather than involve me. Anyway, none of this was my fault. I'm not the one who told you to break up with her."

"Well, you kind of did…" he began. She shot him a dirty look.

"If you're trying to pin this on me, then you'd better pull over and let me out right now."

"I'm not trying to blame you; I know this is my entire fault. I knew that I couldn't be with you until I broke up with Amu."

"And what makes you think I'd date you?" Utau gaped. She noticed they were less than a block away from school and so before he could reply, she unbuckled her seatbelt and demanded he pull over.

"Utau, it's only a minute away. Don't go!"

"I'll walk the rest of the way. Anything's better than listening to you." She opened the door of the truck and jumped out just seconds after it came to a stop. "Just fix the car and stay away from me!" she yelled back as she stormed away from him and made her way towards to safety of the school.

* * *

><p>Kukai watched Utau leave from the truck and sighed heavily. After he and Amu had somehow got back together all those weeks ago, he knew that she wouldn't give up on their relationship and it would have been up to him to do so. He hadn't meant to hurt her, honestly, but it was wrong for him to continue to pretend he cared about her like she cared for him. He couldn't stand the thought of risking losing Utau just because he was with Amu. Perhaps he had just misinterpreted everything.<p>

* * *

><p>Utau had called Keith to ask if her car was fixed at lunch. Fortunately for her, it was, and even more fortunate was the fact that Kukai was supposed to be at lunchtime practice so she didn't run the risk of bumping into him there.<p>

However, when she arrived at Keith's shop, she could only find Kukai.

"Are you like haunting me now?" she questioned as she saw his face. "Why do you have to be everywhere? Why aren't you at practice?"

"I knew you'd be here and Keith wanted to go to the café for lunch. I want to talk to you."

"Well I don't want to talk to you so just hand me my keys and I can leave."

"Just hear me out," Kukai tried, "just two minutes and then you can go." She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, determined not to stay for longer than she needed to.

"Fine."

"First of all, I never meant to hurt Amu. I care about her but not as much as I used to. Things just changed between us and most of that has to do with the fact that I really like you… and I know you like me too." She scoffed loudly, "I mean we seem to have things in common."

"So do you and Amu," she reminded him, "you have everything in common."

Great, now she was arguing with him.

"That's my point. We like everything the same and I thought that it meant we were meant to be together but we're never going to be anything more than friends. But with you, it's like we don't need to like the same music or movies. I understand you on a whole different level. Sure, we like some things but we don't like everything so we can have discussions and you're so easy to talk to." Kukai continued.

"I'm not the only one in the whole world that you don't have things in common with, Kukai, why don't you go find one of them?" she questioned. "Why me?"

"I don't know. I just feel something, and I think we owe it to ourselves to give us a chance."

"There is no 'us', Kukai!"

"There could be if you'd just agree to give it a chance."

"Stop it!" she warned him. "No way in hell."

"Why not?"

"Because you broke up with Amu twelve hours ago. She's still crying!"

"I thought you said she was fine." Kukai frowned. She stamped her foot on the ground in frustration.

"Open your eyes, Kukai. She loved you. And you, you are on the rebound. You don't want me. You're just confused."

"I do want you."

"But you can't have me! There's a unwritten code in the Ethics of BFFs that states that you can't – and shouldn't – date, sleep, kiss or do anything remotely intimate with your best friend's boyfriend or ex-boyfriend."

"Okay, let's pretend we're strangers-"

"Kukai…" she began.

"No, let's just pretend for a second. We met… in a bar like an hour ago, and we had a great conversation about 'Weird Science', hit it off and are attracted to each other. Amu and I never happened. Amu doesn't even exist – would you date me then?" he raised his eyebrows hopefully and awaited her answer. Utau's mind screamed at her to say 'no' and end all this, but something else compelled her to close her eyes and nod her head, squeaking out a small 'yes'. Kukai sighed in relief.

"So why can't we?" he questioned.

"Because we're _not_ strangers, Kukai. There was no chance meeting in a bar. Because there _was_ a you and Amu, and she _does_ exist… and because she's my best friend." She explained to him for what felt the fifteenth time."

"Look, Amu and I didn't work. We just might."

"That doesn't even matter. Neither of us will find out because we just can't be together. I won't let us."

"But why?" he realized he must be asking that question a lot but he didn't understand.

"Look, I _might_ be attracted to you, and yes, I think that once upon a time we may have worked out for a while at least. But you went after Amu, not me, remember? You placed your bet on her so you can't just expect another chance once your number is up."

"So this is because I chose her before?" he asked.

"Maybe. I don't know," she shrugged her shoulders, "all I know is that she's my best friend. If it was her in my shoes, I know that she would never, ever betray me like that. No guy is ever worth ruining our friendship over and that's the truth." She bit her lip lightly and sighed. "Can I have my keys now?" she asked. Defeated, Kukai handed her car keys over to her.

"So you're saying that there's no way? Not even if you talked to Amu and she gave us permission? Even if she decides to put us together."

"The chances of that happening are way too slim to even consider," she told him. "I think it's best if we just left this now, okay? I need to focus on helping Amu through this and you trying to convince me otherwise won't help. Please can you just stay away from me?"

Her voice carried a tone of desperation and begging that Kukai had never heard before. It was almost as if it was killing her just to be around him and torn between him and Amu like that. Of course, he knew where her loyalties would lie, but he had needed to take that chance anyway. She seemed so much more upset and distraught than he'd ever seen her, and so he simply nodded and let her drive away.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>That was Chapter 9, and there are only a few chapters to go. Maybe 4 to 5 (I'm currently writing the end) and I hope I can update every weekend, but my drivers licences needs to be finished, so I really need to learn for it .. well, no can do xD

Here, look what I made. It's a Trailer for my new story "My So Called Brother" (plot by ShellyCullen)  
>How do you think it is? Good? Bad? Leave a Review and say what you mean! :)<br>Just type "y.o.u.t.u.b.e.c.o.m" (without the dots) and then this link /watch?v=Tvt34C7QSK0&feature= and you can watch it. If it shouldn't work than just type "My So Called Brother || A Wattpad & Novel Trailer" in the youtube search box. I really want to hear your opinions!

**Review my lovelies!  
><strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten:  
><strong>

Amu Hinamori was very pleased with herself. By the end of the week, she had made a full recovery from her break-up with Kukai. She was back at school and secretly kind of enjoyed the attention she was getting from people. Although most people didn't know why they broke up (and even Amu wasn't entirely sure either), they all seemed to side with her and labeled Kukai as the bad guy. Even Ikuto had given her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder when he saw her at her locker.

She owed it all to her best friend, of course. She was sure that without Utau by her side she would have fallen apart. She was there for the late night talks and helped her through it by literally threatening her to get out of bed and back to school so that she could copy off of her.

In fact, Amu was proud to say that she had hardly thought of Kukai at all this past two days.

* * *

><p>Unbeknownst to her, her best friend was having a harder time forgetting the young brunette man.<p>

When Kukai had crossed paths with both the girls on their way to history, Utau had to be the one to support Amuand give her a comforting hand, when Utau was the one who wished she was the one who had someone to lean on. She was the one who wanted desperately to be allowed to cry into her pillow – but instead she had to fix a smile on her face and be cheery for Amu. She hopes that perhaps if she kept it up long enough and play the denial game; then she'd start to believe it herself.

So far it wasn't working.

Especially when Kukai wouldn't leave her alone.

She slammed her locker hard when she sensed his breath on the back of her neck, sending down shivers she didn't particularly want. He was there again. She sighed and gave him a cold stare.

"I'm still not talking to you." She chided as she brushed past him. He followed. Over the last few days this had become a routine. He'd always try to talk to her when Amu or no other people were around.

"I know, but we really do need to talk. You just can't keep avoiding me."

"I don't _want_ to talk."

"Look, I've been thinking and I really think that we ought-" she turned to face him.

"Kukai, please, this is getting desperate. Oh, and FYI, sending emails, leaving voicemails and notes on my car windscreen is not cute. It's stalkerish."

"I'm sorry but you won't return any of my calls."

"For good reasons," she lowered her voice when a group of juniors walked past them and gave them a look; wondering why Utau was talking to her best friend's ex – with a fierce expression on her face. Hopefully they thought she was telling him off for hurting her friend. They were half right. "You hurt Amu."

"This isn't about her, Utau. She and I are over." He said exasperatedly. "Who cares about her?"

She gave him a look. "What happened to the nice, deep, caring Kukai?" she questioned. "When did you get so mean?"

"It's not-"

"Yes, it is. If you can treat Amu like that, then you're not really making yourself sound very appealing." She raised an eyebrow.

"Does that mean…" he seemed to perk up at her comment. She scoffed.

"It doesn't mean anything other than you're an ass." Utau said bluntly before she shook her head. "Look, can you just leave me alone?"

"I don't want to. I'm sorry if I'm hurting you but I can't help how I feel."

"Yes, you can!" she cried, "Bury it or something and maybe you'll forget it. That's what I'm doing with you but it won't work if you keep following me. Just stop telling me you love me because it's just crap and you're making me feel like the worst person in the world."

"I'm sorry," he offered.

"Save your apologies for Amu. You owe her that much." Utau spat back at him. Kukai frowned and followed her as she walked off again.

"So you want me to tell her _everything_?" he questioned, emphasizing the last word. She stared at him horrified.

"No!" Utau lowered her voice when she realized she'd caught people's attention. "You don't have to tell her everything because _I've_ done nothing wrong. You kissed me _once._ And I didn't even enjoy it!"

"But we still kissed, right? And even if it didn't mean anything to you, you still did something that you feel guilty about." Kukai sighed, "I'm not saying this to be mean, Utau, but I think it's pretty unfair for you to go around acting like none of this was your fault."

"None of this was my fault!" Utau cried in frustration. She couldn't believe the gall of Kukai trying to shift the blame onto her. Kukai was also frustrated. He had done everything to try and get the girl he wanted, but she was pushing him away because of her best friend – even though it seemed pretty clear to him that Amu was over him anyway. It seemed that Utau had more of a problem with the notion of the two of them than Amu ever would.

She just kept pushing and pushing him away, even though he _knew_ that she felt something for him.

"Look," Kukai pinched the bridge of his nose, "right now I don't even think that Amu's the main issue here anymore. I think that _you_ have a problem with us being together, and for whatever reason, you're hiding behind her so you don't have to deal with it."

"That's ridiculous."

"Is it? You admitted that you would have dated me if Amu and I never happened. I can't change that, Utau, but Amu and I are over. I know that we just broke up but given time I think that she could come around to the idea. We've just got to try. Maybe she'll be supportive-"

"If the tables were turned, I don't think I could be supportive."

"Maybe that's because you care too much."

"About what?"

"Me. I know that if I saw you with anybody else, I wouldn't be able to take it." He stepped closer to her and she turned her face away from him. She could feel her knees begin to quiver and she feared that any second they'd buckle from beneath her.

"Stop it." She pleaded. He placed a hand on her arm.

"Utau, I've done my part. I've told you times and time again how much I want to be with you, and I can't do anything more. It's up to you now. You can either take a chance on us – or you can put your mask back on and pretend. I just thought I was worth more to you than that." She had closed her eyes when he'd touched her arm. She had willed herself not to react or look at him. When she opened them again, he'd already begun to walk away and had left her alone with only his words hanging over her.

Sighing, she gently massaged the temples of her head and willed for time to go back to when she didn't have to deal with people like Kukai Souma.

* * *

><p>Kukai, however, had walked away and quickly locked eyes with Rima Mashiro across the courtyard. She was looking in the direction where he'd been standing with Utau just a few seconds earlier. Rima had a sort of deer-in-the-headlights look about her and he wasn't quite sure what she had seen – or thought. He approached her and decided to do some damage control. Just in case.<p>

"Hey," he greeted. She looked at him warily.

"Hey yourself. What was that about?" she gestured in Utau's direction, where the blonde was making her way back into the school building and far away from them.

"Oh… just Utau."

"I can see it was Utau." Rima replied. "What was going on? It seemed… intense."

"Utau was just giving me hell for breaking it off with Amu. I don't blame her. You know Utau."

"No, I don't. And I don't think Utau's really the type to be talking with her best friend's ex in a dark corner."

"You're right, Riri, you don't know Utau." Kukai shot back before walking off, leaving his own best friend wondering whether or not the conversation she'd seen between the two of them was innocent or not.

* * *

><p>Utau sat down next to Amu in the empty gym as they both set down their duffle bags and began preparing for cheerleading practice, which was due to commence in precisely ten minutes. Utau looked at the clock as it showed the time as ten to three in the afternoon. She knew that she would have to be honest with Amu about the Kukai situation very soon – it was just picking the right time – if there ever was a right time.<p>

Glancing around, she realized that none of the other cheerleaders nor the basketball squad would be in the gym until three on the dot. Most of the girls took their time getting ready to impress the boys and spent more time on their make-up during this time than in the mornings for school.

She figured ten minutes was enough time to talk it through with her best friend and make sure Amu knew that there was absolutely nothing between her and Kukai. It was just some weird fixation he had on her. Right, that was her story. Earlier Utau had decided that Amu would be cool about it and the two would ignore Kukai and stick together through it all. They'd support each other and maybe then Utau could start forgetting Kukai just like Amu had seemed to. Although it didn't stop Utau from stealthily moving the pom poms away from her just in case she got angry and did something drastic.

"Um hey, Amu," Utau cleared her throat when she realized she'd squeaked it out rather than spoken. "I need to talk to you about something…"

"So what's the deal with you and Kukai?" Amu seemed to not have heard her. Utau, however, had heard Amu loud and clear and was terrified to hear what would come next. "Rima said that she saw you two talking this afternoon. She said it looked pretty heated and you didn't seem too happy."

Rima! That snitch! Utau silently cursed the tutor in her head.

"Why did Rima say that?" Utau scratched the back of her ear nervously.

"I was looking for you at break but I couldn't find you. I ran into Rima and asked her if she'd seen you." Utau took a deep breath as Amu continued, "Look, I know I was pretty down after he-who-shall-not-be-named dumped me last week, but I'm okay! You don't have to fight my battles for me," Amu grinned, "although I love that you do."

Amu's misinterpretation of the situation almost broke Utau's heart. She considered whether she should leave it as that, but Utau knew that she had to do this.

"About that," she began, "that's not exactly how it happened."

"What do you mean?" Amu questioned with a smile.

"Well you see…" Utau glanced up at the clock and sighed as she read eight minutes to three, "it's kind of my fault that he broke up with you. But it also isn't."

"That's confusing," the pinkette said. "How is it your fault?"

"Kukai has it into his head that he and I are supposed to be together or something. Of course it's a load of B.S. and I told him he was being stupid – but then he went and broke up with you for _me_! Can you believe that?"

Amu's smile had fallen somewhere in the middle of that sentence. "Wait… so he, what, told you that? When?"

"Well, he told me that when he broke up with you, but then he said he wanted to be with me a couple of weeks ago at the dance. I told him that whatever 'feelings' he had for me had to go because he was with you – and then he broke up with you and came to me." She explained.

"Are you dating?" Amu's fallen smile now became a frown. She looked angry.

"No!" Utau insisted, "I would never date a guy while he was with you… or date something you've dated without your permission!" Amu seemed to click onto what Utau was trying to convey, just as some cheerleaders and basketball players began filtering in. She panicked as she realized they were early.

Of all the days to heed Utau's punctuality rule.

"Oh, I get it!" Amu laughed loudly and dramatically, garnering everybody's attention since the gym was large and good for acoustics. "You're telling me this because you want my blessing for you and the guy that broke my heart to be together?"

"Amu_**_—_**_" Utau tried to stop her from jumping to conclusions without hearing her out. She's never seen Amu get so angry so quickly before.

"You know, that's fantastic, Utau! It really is. Is Kukai not ballsy enough to come and ask me or did you just draw the short straw? Did you have a great time laughing about it behind my back?"

"It's _so_ not like that, Amu, you have to understand."

"I knew you liked him before we got together, but I thought you were over that because you seemed to be our number one supporter. Or were you really just waiting for us to break up so you can get your claws into him? I know we share things, Utau, but I didn't think it applied to boyfriends." Amu's rage seemed to get the better of her after the revelation that her best friend and her boyfriend supposedly had something going on. "I'd repay the favor by dating one of _your_ ex-boyfriends but I bet they're much less 'boyfriends' and a little more 'one-night stands'" There were a few 'ooohs' that flew from the mouths of their peers, and Utau felt the sting.

"That was low, Amu." She whispered.

"Yeah, well not as low as what you've done to me." Amu retorted, "Date him if you want. Use him like you use everybody else. Just don't expect to have me as your best friend." Amu gathered up her bags and stormed out of the gym with everybody's eyes following her. Once she was gone, their eyes flicked back to Utau, who stood frozen to the spot. She glanced at a sheepish-looking Kukai on the other end of the gym before shaking her head, grabbing her bags, and walking as fleeing from the gym using a different exit.

* * *

><p>Kukai sighed inwardly as he followed Utau, trying not to let the stares and the gaping students get to him.<p>

"Utau, wait!" he called after the blonde who eventually stopped as her legs begged for her to stop. Jogging over to her, he was grateful for the chance – until she spun around in tears.

"Go away, Kukai!" she bit out.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay after Amu…"

"After Amu exposed me for the crappy friend I am?"

"You're not a crappy friend."

"Oh yeah? Everyone in there heard what she said. Every single person in that gym heard hert call me a slut and a cheater. They all think I'm a manipulative bitch trying to get in your pants behind my best friend's back. And by tomorrow, the whole school will too."

"So? Forget them. They don't know you. You have me." She laughed bitterly as he said this.

"You? You're the whole reason this mess started. Hos over bros, Kukai! I've ruined a friendship that I _depend_ on. Do you know how much I hate going home? How much I can't stand my family? Amu's the only one who understood that and I need her. But now everything's ruined because I actually let you make me think that being honest with her was the right thing to do. I actually pictured this going differently and me and her standing in this hallway together telling _you_ to get lost. Or, by some out-of-this-world miracle, tell me that maybe it was okay for you and me to be together. What an idiot, right?" Utau wiped her tears roughly from her face and began walking back towards the car park.

"Please wait," he begged.

"Just forget it, Kukai. Forget everything." She muttered as she walked as far away from the school – and Kukai – as possible.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: So I hope you like this Chapter. This story will end soon. Maybe three or five Chapters.<strong>

**Review lovelies ~***


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven:  
><strong>

"Are you a complete idiot?" Rima yelled as she took a swipe at her (idiotic) best friend with a rolled-up magazine she'd picked up off his desk. He tried to duck but was a touch too slow; the magazine just clipping his head.

"Does it warrant abuse?" he asked as he stood up from his bed. Rima glared at him. Though she was a fair few inches shorter than him, she packed a hell of a punch, and Kukai knew it. He feared it, actually. He should never have taught her how to throw a punch back when they were eleven.

"Yes!" she replied. "Kukai, you cheated on your girlfriend."

"I know." He hung his head.

"With her best friend."

"I know." His head fell lower.

"And ended up ruining their friendship."

Lower.

"And you also made it happen in front of the whole school!"

Lower.

"Did you even think about what you were doing?" she questioned. "You're supposed to be smart. You read all these books on romance-"

"They're classics!"

"I know that, Kukai, but did you not read the one about the guy who had a good thing going and ruined it by going after her best friend. Her best friend, Kukai!"

"I didn't mean for it to turn out that way. I care about Amu."

"Then why did you cheat on her with Utau?"

"It wasn't cheating! I kissed her once and told her I wanted to be with her."

"Oh, that makes it okay then!" Rima shot back.

"Hear me out. I'm the one who screwed everything up. Utau didn't do anything. In fact, she was pushing me away when I said that I loved her."

"You love Utau?"

"But she didn't want anything to do with me, and I tried to feel something like that for Amu… it just never happened."

"You _love _Utau?" his best friend repeated. "Why would you stay with Amu if you loved Utau?"

He shrugged. "Because Utau didn't want me? Because she kept pushing me away and I just couldn't break up with Amu?"

"I thought you did break up with Amu."

"Eventually."

"Kukai, how long has this been going on?" she asked as anger began fading away from her voice, and concern crept in.

"A while."

"Like after the dance?"

"Maybe slightly longer than that."

"Kukai!" Rima wasn't quite sure what to think. She knew that Kukai and Utau had started becoming friends recently, but the fact that he was in love with her was certainly news for her. Sure, she'd figured that maybe he had a small insignificant crush on her – but what red-blooded male didn't? Ikuto had pointed out that they'd both been acting kind of strange lately, but Rima hadn't been utterly convinced. Maybe Rima hadn't seen it… or hadn't wanted to see it.

After all, Kukai Souma was supposed to be the nice guy. The one that picked up Rima's books when she tripped over her untied shoelace back in fifth grade. The one who had always been there for her.

"Riri, I've screwed this up," Kukai said softly, "I feel like a complete idiot. Utau was pushing me away and maybe I should have listened to her. Maybe I could have stopped this from happening, but it did. And now I have to fix it."

"Damn right you do."

"But neither of them want anything to do with me."

"Well, are you sur… no, Kukai. You are not going to even think of making me do it for you!" Rima told him firmly when she saw the look on his face. "This is your mess. You fix it."

"They won't even talk to me. How can I fix things?" he countered.

"Maybe you should stop being a jerk."

"I already feel like a jackass, Rima, I don't need you telling me that." He sighed. "Why are things so complicated?"

"I don't know." She sat down next to him. "Since we all fell in love?"

"Do I have to go to school today?" he questioned.

"Your mom won't be pleased if you skipped the day. Maybe you'll see Amu or Utau and can fix it. Just start working on your apologies."

"An apology will work?"

"It's a start." She punched him lightly on the shoulder. "You're really a piece of work, you know that?" He chuckled and kissed her forehead.

"You too, Rima Mashiro. You too."

* * *

><p>Getting up to go to school wasn't at the top of Utau's list the next day. It wasn't at the top of her list in the foreseeable future either. She was actually quite happy with just staying underneath her covers for the rest of eternity.<p>

Or at least until she could show her face in school again.

Which probably would be never anyway.

Did colleges accept high school dropouts? Maybe there was a cheerleading scholarship somewhere.

Just as she began planning a life as a waitress in some run-of-the-mill coffee house, someone knocked on her door.

"No visitors!" she yelled as she retreated further into her duvet cover.

"It's Rima." Came the quiet reply. Utau poked her head out of her bedcover and frowned. Had she heard that right? The door to her room opened and the tutor stood awkwardly in the doorway. "Kukai said you would leave your door unlocked."

"Kukai also told you that you could come in?" Utau muttered.

"I knocked." Rima ran a hand self-consciously through her hair as she wondered what to do next. Kukai had wanted her help to fix things but Utau clearly wasn't in the mood to see anyone. Finally, she stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. "It's a little late to be in bed, isn't it?"

"Not really."

"It's time for lunch."

"Not hungry!"

"Well, I brought some anyway," Rima pulled out a bag from Appel's Café and held it up. "I bet you haven't eaten anything since…" she trailed off. "You need to eat."

"I told you, I'm not hungry. Besides, I don't even know what you're doing here. Kukai send you?"

"No…" She began but Utau gave her a look and Rima nodded slightly, "He wants to fix things."

"Unless he can turn back time, I think Kukai has done enough." The blonde bit back.

"Look, he did want me to help him out, but it was my idea to come see you. You weren't in school today."

"Are you surprised?" she asked, "The big, fat whore isn't in school because she was publicly humiliated in front of everyone."

"You're not fat, Utau," Rima said.

"But I'm a whore, right? That's what you're thinking. That's what everyone is thinking."

"Kukai told me everything. About how it was his fault, not yours. How you tried to push him away, but he kept trying to pressure you. I know you didn't do anything wrong."

"But I did, Rima!" Utau pulled the covers off her. "I kissed my best friend's boyfriend. I started to have feelings for him, and I didn't tell her anything. She cried for a week after he broke up with her and she didn't know why! Do you even know how that feels?" When Rima didn't respond, Utau sighed and sunk deeper into her bed, "Oh, what would you know? You're on Kukais' side anyway."

Rima reached out and sat on Utau's bed, clasping her hand tightly. "There are no sides here, Utau. Just hearts… and some of them are broken and hurting, and they just need time. Amu will come around eventually. She just doesn't know the full story yet."

"Neither does the whole school but they're going to believe what they want to believe." She closed her eyes tightly, "I bet they all love it too. Everybody loves to see someone like me take a hit."

Rima glanced around the room and saw Utau's floor-length mirror covered by a blanket. The Idol caught her staring at it.

"Mirrors are really something, huh?" Utau said. "You can build yourself up to someone that you want to be, or think you are… but when you look at yourself in the mirror; it tells you what you _really _are. Just like that, it wipes away everything you told yourself you were. And all it is is a stupid piece of glass or whatever. Isn't that just crazy? And there's nothing you can do to change it. Except maybe smash it and then you get seven years worth of bad luck."

"You didn't smash it, did you?" Rima asked in horror.

"I think I've already brought on enough bad karma by getting mixed up with Kukai, thanks. But I couldn't look at myself, because when I did, I hated who I saw in there. I hate seeing the girl people always thought I was. I never saw it before, but I guess I was just kidding myself. I'm not a good friend, I don't deserve anything."

Rima felt bad for the girl, and very guilty. When she had first heard of the situation, her first instinct was to berate Utau for being so callous and mean to someone who was supposedly her best friend. It seemed as if the popular opinion of Utau was true. She really was only looking out for herself, and always she got what she wanted. Rima just never knew that Kukai was on her radar.

After speaking to him, however, and then seeing Utau lying in bed like the whole world had come crashing down around her, made her think otherwise. She was probably one of the only people that knew the whole story, and that saddened Rima, because Utau was most definitely not the girl other people made her out to be.

"Have you tried talking to Amu since it happened?" Rima asked tentatively as Utau laughed slightly before shaking her head and a fresh batch of tears filled her eyes.

"No. She won't take my calls. I went to her house last night and she had locked the door. She never locks the door."

Rima wasn't quite sure what to do when Utau began to cry. Honestly, this was the longest conversation they'd had. She didn't even know if Utau wanted her there. But she'd seen Amu briefly in school, and had tried to talk to her, but she wasn't really in the mood. Though all the cheerleaders had deemed it fit to crowd around the Pinkette to show their support to the 'wronged' girl, Amu hadn't seemed to really want it. It was Utau who was friends with most of the cheerleaders. Amu would rather ignore them, but since Utau was friends with them and they all were on the same team, she had to hang out with them.

And now they wouldn't leave her alone.

At least they all bitched about Utau. Amu seemed to enjoy that part.

In their barely thirty second long conversation, Rima had realized that Amu wasn't dealing very well with the news. She was bitter, hurt and betrayed. She clearly didn't want anything more to do with Kukai or Utau.

And that's when Rima realized it. Utau was the one who was all alone. Without Amu or the cheerleaders, she really had no-one on her side. The little blonde was surprised that Utau had admitted that at least some of it was her fault. She wasn't going around trying to be blameless in all of this. She understood the situation and what she had done. She was merely trying to be honest with her friend, and it backfired completely on her.

It didn't matter to anyone if Kukai was the one who pursued Utau, or if she refused to acknowledge her feelings out of respect for her best friend. To everybody else, Amu was the only victim.

That's what was the saddest part in this whole situation.

"You should go, Rima. I'm sure you're dying to tell Kukai what a wreck I am." Utau commented.

"You know that he's really sorry, don't you?" Rima asked, now becoming more of a messenger, though she didn't initially intend to be.

"I don't want his apology." Utau sighed, "I want my best friend back. I want her to just _talk _to me. Even looking at me would be a start."

"Well, you're not going to get anywhere by lying here all day." Rima reminded her. "If you hurry, you can still make some classes."

"Sorry, Tutor Girl, but school isn't really my top priority. I don't feel like facing everybody."

"Okay, it's your call. But you have to face it soon, Utau; because it'll only get worse the longer you hide. You only get one free pass to mope around. Kukai gets one too. But tomorrow, you have to go back to school."

"And why would I want to do that?" Utau asked.

"Because what you did may have been a little sucky, but hiding away will only make it seem worse than it is. You've got to set the record straight. It's your reputation that's going to suffer."

"Aren't you supposed to be telling me that popularity doesn't matter; it's who you are inside?" she replied wiping a few tears off her cheeks.

"No-one's going to know what's inside unless you show them. You're stronger than this, Utau. Even I know that. Utau Hoshina doesn't hide from the world. She faces it head on. If your friendship with Amu is worth anything, than you'll find a way to talk to her – and she'll find a way to listen."

"What about Kukai?"

"Same for him. He's going to have to find his own way and apologize to the two of you." She told her. Realizing that the girl wasn't going to get out of bed – at least not at that very moment – Rima decided that she'd said her piece. "Well, it's up to you," she reminded her before walking back towards the door, and leaving Utau to think about her words.

* * *

><p>When Utau heard the door shut behind her, she wondered whether Rima was right. Could she just walk back into school, ignore the glances and whispers and try to set the record straight. Would it simply make things worse? What if Amu didn't want to listen to her?<p>

Utau knew one thing for sure. It'd only get better if she got out of bed and had a shower.

It was a start anyway.

* * *

><p>Amu's music blared through her empty house as she sat at her desk as she sketched. She may have been surrounded by 'friends' at school, but at home, she was all alone. And she preferred it that way. She could be left alone to cry, draw or just feel angry without anyone trying to talk to her. Someone knocked on her bedroom door.<p>

At least she thought she could stop people talking to her.

"The door's locked for a reason," she said bluntly as she caught sight of her visitor.

"I know, I just… I had to talk to you."

"Kukai, I don't really care anymore, okay? Why don't you go down to Utau's? Apparently the two of you are used to talking behind my back," the pinkette girl scoffed, "and doing other things too!"

"First of all, you have to know that Utau and I didn't do anything."

"You kissed."

"Yeah but that was just once and-"

"Still behind my back?" she finished off for him. She shook her head, "Kukai, there is really nothing you can say to me anymore. We're done. You dumped me for my best friend. I don't think you have any right to even be here right now."

"I wanted to explain."

"Spare me the gory details, please," she spat back, "because I've had the image of the two of you together in my head for the last twenty-four hours and I'd like not to be scarred for life." Kukai sighed. This was most definitely more difficult than he had though it'd be. "And how did you get in here anyway?"

"I made a spare key a few months ago." Kukai admitted sheepishly. She looked at him strangely and extended her hand out for the key. He dug it out of his pocket and placed it in her hand, the cold metal appropriately accompanying the frosty silence that passed between them. They stood listening to the Tegan and Sara song that Amu's stereo was playing. "I am sorry." He said as the song came to an end.

"Is that all you can say?" she questioned, her tone decidedly softer. Or maybe sadder.

"I don't know what else to say, Amu. I'm just sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for leading you on. I'm sorry for how I broke up with you. I'm sorry for trying to hold onto to us when neither of us really wanted to." Kukai pinched the bridge of his nose as he realized just how many mistakes with Amu and Utau he'd made in the past few weeks.

"If you didn't want to be with me then why did we get back together?" She asked, "I knew something was wrong. I knew that you were acting differently. But still, you just…"

"I know. I should have been clearer and never let that happen because in the end I just hurt you more. I guess I just thought that if we did try again, then maybe I'd just forget my feelings for Utau." At her name, Amu gulped. It was the first time she'd heard it from his mouth.

"Your feelings for Utau," she repeated, "the elephant in the room."

"Amu…"

"How long?"

"Since I started having feelings for her or since she knew about them?"

"The second one."

"A little while. A week or two."

"And the first one?"

"A little while longer. Maybe a month before she knew."

"You just stayed with me all that time? When you knew how you felt about her? When she knew how you felt? You both just acted like it was fine?"

"We didn't know what to do. I thought that maybe they'd go away or something. I wanted them too but instead they just got deeper. I couldn't do it, Amu. I couldn't shake my feelings for her, and I knew I was being unfair by being with you at the same time. I made a mistake and I just wanted to you to know that I admit that I was wrong… and possibly try and make it up to you." He waited patiently for her answer, wondering if there was anyway that he could turn this thing around.

"Get out, Kukai." Amu said, turning away from him and seeking solace in her music collection. The only thing that hadn't betrayed her so far. Instead of fighting with her he too turned and left the Hinamori residence.

* * *

><p>It was almost evening when he stepped out of the house. He'd arrived just after sunset and was amazed at just how fast it had become night. He could probably think of some famous line in a poem or a book to describe it but his attention was deflected by the footsteps of a familiar face.<p>

As he was crossing the lawn in front of Amu's house, someone else was on their way to the front door. The footsteps slowed down as she saw him standing there, with that look upon his face. The one that wanted to desperately say something to her. But he was silenced when she lightly shook her head to tell him that she didn't want to hear it. Utau started walking across the lawn again, determined not to let Kukais' presence distract her from trying to talk to Amu. He had clearly been to see her and she wasn't sure what he'd said or done or even if she'd let him in. Though she wanted to ask, she thought it best not to say anything.

Kukai watched her walk past him with her head bent down low and her arms tucked protectively across her chest. It was the first time he'd seen her since the day before everything went disastrously wrong. After waiting a couple of moments to gather his thoughts, he started his journey back home, and hoped that Utau would at least be able to get through Amu.

If not for his sake; then at least for hers.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: I hope you like it :) I'm having a hard time updating, because I don't have any time, but I try. Now that school starts again, I have less time. (School till 4 o'clock, and that every day.) Hope you all understand.<strong>

**And oh well, only three more chapters to go! Thank's to all of you!**

**Review lovelies~*  
><strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve:  
><strong>

"Get out of my house."

Those had been the final words Amu had said to Utau the night she had come to talk to her. No friendly words had been exchanged. Just one desperate, pleading and apologetic girl being told to leave the one house she'd always been welcome in.

And after two weeks nothing had changed. In fact they'd only gotten worse. At least that's what Utau thought. She felt herself feeling further disconnected from her best friend with every hour that passed. She wasn't used to not hearing Amu's voice on the phone, or hearing it without at least some semblance of friendliness in it. She wasn't used to eating lunch on her own or having nobody to roll her eyes at. Utau found herself missing being dragged to that damn record store every other day and being forced to act interested in the newest alternative bands.

She just missed normal.

To top it all off, her parents weren't too concerned either. Utau had mentioned it at dinner one night when her mother casually asked what she'd been up to, but it had been brushed aside with a 'that's a shame, dear. Could you pass the butter?' before they had told her that the two of them were going on a trip to Australia for the next month. Her father for business and her mother for… well, her mother was just going.

Two more people who didn't want to be around Utau.

So she was alone in a big empty house with nobody to talk to, nobody to hang around with and nothing to occupy her time with. She could try homework and actually studying like she always promised she would, but she found herself easily distracted. She couldn't concentrate, she couldn't sleep at night, and she couldn't take the stares and the whispers and the looks any longer.

In her life, she'd always been something.

A cheerleader. A friend. Someone popular who always had someone who wanted to talk to her or hang out with her.

Utau used to be somebody. She couldn't remember a time where she had felt so confused, hurt and alone all the time. She couldn't remember a time where she hadn't known who she was.

Just thinking about it started to make her cry but then she managed to stop herself, feeling guilty for doing so. She had no right to cry and feel sorry for herself.

What she really needed to do was carry on with her day and hope Amu hated her a little less.

* * *

><p>As usual, she sat alone as she picked at her lunch. She kept her eyes on the magazine in front of her so she wouldn't look as alone as she felt. Occasionally she'd steal a glance to see if Amu was around or if anyone was looking at her. Thankfully, she hadn't seen any of that today. Only twenty minutes left until lunch ended and she had to face the classrooms. Utau hated being confined to such a small space and recently they'd felt imprisoning. Especially when she shared classes with Amu or Kukai and knowing that all eyes were on them. As if their situation was something to be gawked at and gossiped about.<p>

Not to mention that cheerleading was something she dreaded. With the cheerleaders all camped out on 'Team Amu', it was the last place she wanted to be. She didn't have the confidence to lead them. Her instructions always seemed like a struggle. She saw the rolls of their eyes and their disgusted looks and they burned her. They once had been her friends. Now it seemed like she was their worst enemy and it wasn't as if she was the cheeriest person right now either.

"Hey," Kukais' voice broke through her thoughts and suddenly she could feel her heart pounding so fast within in her chest that she wasn't quite sure whether she'd be able to breathe. Being around him unnerved her now and she didn't know why. Possibly because every time she looked at him – all she saw was Amu and what had happened between the three of them.

Utau averted her eyes back to her magazine. She hadn't spoken to him in two weeks either. He'd tried but she'd walk in the opposite direction, or make it impossible for him to approach her.

He didn't seem to be deterred and he sat down beside her. She stuffed the magazine in her bag and stood up to leave. "I've got to go."

"Where are you going, Utau?" he asked.

"I have some work to do." She replied glancing around the courtyard. Some people had already begun to look at them with interest.

"Utau, I don't want to do this. Can't we just sit down and talk? Not even about this situation we're in. Let's just talk. Besides, I haven't had my lunch yet and you look like you haven't either."

"I've eaten," She replied and Kukai looked at her full plate of food and gave her a look. "I wasn't hungry." She explained.

"Mr. Nikaidou's 5th period class is cancelled. Just thought you should know."

"Thanks for letting me know." She replied as she hesitantly sat down. He could sense the awkwardness that surrounded them and he kicked himself for thinking this was ever a good idea.

"I think, um, he's getting his toupee refitted or something," Kukai explained. Utau looked up at him in surprise.

"Nikaidou, really? Well, I hope it's better than that terrible dye job he usually has." She commented. She passed him a bag of chips. "Do you want those? I really don't like them." Kukai picked them up and smiled.

"Sure. I like them."

"But then you get onion breath."

"It's not that bad, right?" Kukai asked. Utau made a face. "Okay, well, is it better than Mr. Izumi's breath?" Utau gasped.

"Dog's breath is better than Mr. Izumi's breath." She said and Kukai chuckled. "What in the world does he eat to make his mouth smell that way?"

"I think he has halitosis."

"Halle-toes-what?" Utau frowned. "Well, whatever it is, he needs to get it sorted. I sit at the front."

"I can beat you. I sit at the front of Miss Mizukis' class."

"The spitter? Okay, you win." He chuckled again.

"It's not so bad. You just have to move your desk like an inch every time she looks away. Although I'm pretty sure I end up sitting in Ikuto's lap by the end of the lesson." He explained.

Utau was surprised at how the atmosphere between them dissolved so quickly. Maybe because for once their conversation wasn't about them. This had been the first time she'd laughed in a while, and Kukai liked it. He'd been watching from a distance over the last couple of weeks and he'd missed seeing her smile or laugh. It just didn't seem right and he liked being the one to put it on her face.

The two laughed and joked casually as they both did their best to avoid falling into the dreaded never-ending pit of… well, whatever it was.

However, it was during one of these jokes that caused Utau to laugh so loudly that she had to grab onto Kukais' arm to steady herself, and as she looked up she caught the glare of Amu standing across from them at the table with the cheerleaders.

The smile was quickly erased from her face and Utau pulled her hand away from Kukai as if it was fire. Momentarily Kukai was confused at her sudden change of attitude but then he too caught sight of Amu. Before he could say anything, Utau was already scrambling to grab her things and move herself as far away from Kukai as possible.

* * *

><p>As she walked quickly away from the courtyard, she realized just why she had avoided Kukai for so long. After seeing Amu look at them like that, she felt the same as she had the time in the gym when the pinkette had declared their friendship over. It was like she was hurting her all over again. She cursed herself for letting herself pull down her guard again.<p>

"Utau!" Kukais' voice called out to her as he jogged up beside her. "Utau, slow down."

"Kukai, just go away. You… I've just had enough."

"Of what? Me?"

"Yes, you. You and your jokes and trying to make me forget all of this. I can't forget it. I shouldn't forget it." Utau continued to walk as fast as she could. "Did you see the look on her face? You have no idea how that makes me feel."

"How do you feel?"

"Like a complete bitch. You know, I wake up in the morning and hope that everything will be okay. That maybe today I won't feel so bad about myself and that maybe I can actually look at myself for a full ten-seconds without wanting to crawl back into my bed. I usually do a good job of it but when you pull stuff like that and I have to see her looking at me like I've stabbed her in the back again, it just goes away and all I want to do is crawl back into my bed."

"And what about me? What do you feel about me?"

"I'm not even going to answer that. I _can't _answer that." She replied.

He groaned loudly. "You have to stop letting Amu get in the way of how you feel. She's not even talking to you." He pointed out callously.

"And whose fault is that?" she questioned.

"Don't do this. Stop hiding!" he demanded. She stopped and turned to look at him.

"I'm not hiding, Kukai, I'm right here! But look at me... do you even see me? I'm a mess. I'm so not in the right place to even begin discussing our 'relationship'. I barely even know what day of the week it is anymore. You can't keep doing this to me. Not when I'm feeling like this. Stop doing this. Stop trying to make everything right. Nothing is right. It won't ever be."

"This is still about Amu. Utau, what are we supposed to do? Just sit on our hands until she suddenly decides it's okay?" he pressed.

"Didn't you hear anything I said? It won't ever be okay." She attempted to walk away from him again but he kept on following. She was growing even more frustrated with him now.

"Can't you just give me an answer that doesn't have to do with her? Can you not just talk to me about us?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I just can't, okay?"

"This is ridiculous. You are so damn guarded, Utau, and anytime that anybody wants to get close to you, you just close off. You don't even _look _at me. Back there was the first time you'd looked at me in weeks."

"Kukai..."

"I barely know what to say or do when you get like that. Do you want to be left alone? Do you want me there? Do you want me to talk to you first? I don't understand what I'm supposed to do because you won't talk to me. Can't you just... let it all go? Just once. And be the Utau Hoshina I fell in love with? The one I've seen fleeting glimpses of. The one I KNOW exists because otherwise I wouldn't have fallen so deeply for her. The one who'll let me into her heart."

Utau blinked away tears and refused to look at him for fear she might just collapse right there in front of him.

"Why can't you just leave it alone?" she quietly pleaded with him.

"Do you even want to be with me?" She neglected to answer. "Utau?" his voice began to show signs of fear when she still didn't give him an answer.

"I guess not." she whispered with a shake of her head. "I'm sorry."

Utau slowly began to walk away again, surprising even herself with her answer. Kukai stood somewhat numbly on the spot, unsure of what to do now. He'd invested so much in their relationship. He'd put his relationship with Amu and his friendship with Utau on the line. He'd waited patiently for weeks and week hoping that maybe she'd come back to him.

And now she was telling him he'd wasted his time because she didn't feel the same way.

He wasn't quite sure where things had completely gone wrong. All that ran around his mind at the minute were the words that had slammed into his body with a force he'd never confronted before:

"I guess not."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: I'm sorry for not updating any of my stories so far, but I really have NO time at all since I am at home around 5 o'clock and that everyday. After that, well I need to do school work, so there is not much free time.<strong>  
><strong>This story is over soon, so I hope that I can update my other stories too :)<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen:  
><strong>

"You know, if you keep doing that, your face will stay that way." Rima commented as she saw the pensive expression on Kukais' face. He didn't seem to hear her so she sighed and shook her head, turning back to her biology textbook.

It was almost a whole minute before Kukai seemed to have noticed she'd spoken and faced her with a quizzical look.

"Stop sulking," Rima demanded of her best friend, "one of us is trying to study."

"I'm not saying anything," Kukai defended.

"But I can hear you thinking from all the way over here," she motioned to where she was sitting on his bed, while he was sitting hunched over his desk; the textbook still unopened in front of him. "You're not going to pass this test unless you open the book."

He pushed it away from him, "I'm not in the mood to study."

"Who is?" Rima quipped but she sensed he wasn't laughing. With a small sigh she put her own textbook beside her and went towards him. "Look, I know you're in your Kukai-land… but you've been there for almost a month now. Can you come check in with Earth for a while?"

"Two weeks ago Utau told me she didn't want to be with me."

"Wow. Kukai, I didn't know."

"I thought we actually had something. I thought she knew that 'we' would be something more but I guess I just… messed things up again."

"You can't blam-"

"Does she think I'm just going to use her and then cheat on her?"

"Well… your previous record doesn't really speak volumes for you and your fidelity. Just saying." Rima reminded him.

"Don't 'just say'. You could help."

"And do what, Kukai? Amu clearly will never talk to you again and if that's what Utau wants then you should just back off."

"I don't want to!"

"She wants you to," Rima replied quietly, hoping that she'd succeed in getting Kukai to realize that pressuring Utau was not the way to go. "You'll only push her further away and I'm afraid of how far she already is."

"What now? I just forget about these feelings for Utau? Get on with my life without her? I need her to talk to me or look at me. I need to see her smile. Now I know life with Utau, I don't want anything else. It just wouldn't be the same."

"Stop being so melodramatic, Kukai." Rima snapped. "You can't mope around forever. Besides, you're the one who started this whole mess. You should be more concerned with the fact that Utau and Amu are miserable without each other. Fix that and maybe you have a chance with Utau." She huffed before crawling back to her spot on the bed and picking up her biology book.

It wasn't that she wanted to yell at Kukai, but she was growing tired of his constant sulking and he just didn't seem to get _it_. Kukai Souma was her best friend in the entire world (with the possible exception of Mr. Waffles) and he'd never ever let her down. Not once.

Maybe a few times.

But he had always managed to make up for his short-comings within a week.

Now, not so much.

Rima didn't understand how someone so smart and observant could miss the most obvious signs in the world. Was he really that dense or was he just ignoring them? She bit her lips and wondered whether she should point him in the right direction or let him figure it out on his own.

Her mind drifted from their study of mitosis to what Kukai would tell her if the situation was reversed. Of course there would be the obligatory quotation from a book or someone famous that wouldn't even make sense at first but he'd smile and explain it gently to her – allowing her to come to her own decision, or at least encourage and reassure her.

She should at least do the same in his hour of need.

Deciding that her attention was too far gone from their biology quiz, she placed her textbook back down and ran her hands through her hair as she thought of how best to explain it to him.

"I know you didn't mean for things to get this way, Kukai. You're not malicious. But you just forgot that these two girls that you have feelings for are best friends, and not just that, they need each other. You should know that because you're the one who wanted so desperately to be there for Utau when she was having those family problems – and maybe during that you found yourself falling for her. That's nobody's fault, you can't help the way you feel about somebody, but you could have handled it better. Not that you can change the way things blew up."

"If I could, I would. I didn't want things to be this way between the three of us. Much less, hurt them."

"I know that. You're a good guy, but you're also a guy, and sometimes you have a tendency to let your _downstairs _brain do the thinking," she playfully punched him in the arm, forcing him to smile a little. "I can't speak for the girls, but if you just go back to being the Kukai Souma that both of them wanted as a friend, then maybe you'll be able to show them what a good guy you are."

"I thought you said Amu wouldn't ever speak to me again," Kukai reminded her.

"Actions speak louder than words." Rima suggested.

"And the last time she slammed a door in my face. Rima, she won't listen to me. What am I supposed to do? Make a grand gesture? I'm not good at stuff like that. I only have words, that's who I am."

"Write a letter?" she replied before letting out a frustrated groan. "Email her?"

"I've tried. I doubt she even reads them. She's changed her IM screenname too. She doesn't want me to talk to her or even near her."

"A smoke signal?" Rima tried to relieve the tension but it went unheard as her friend threw a small, sponge basketball against the wall. It bounced off with a force and went hurtling towards Rima, who just managed to duck in time, letting the ball hit the lampshade next to his bed. "Okay, Rage Machine, before you start wrecking your room, I suggest you go down to Amu's house and try and talk to her."

"But she won't…" he protested as she took hold of his arm and pushed him out of the door.

"_Try_." Rima shut the door in his face and refused to let him back in until he'd gone to speak with his ex-girlfriend. Once she heard his footsteps moving away from the house, she sat back down on his bed, opened up her biology textbook and waited.

Kukai wasn't completely sure why he'd listened to Rima.

Sure, he had screwed things up royally but it also didn't mean he had to be pushed around by a girl who still slept with a stuffed animal.

Then again Rima usually knew what she was talking about so he _had _to trust her.

It also might have a little to do with the fact that he really didn't have any other option.

* * *

><p>Kukai knew that Amu wasn't at home yet. She usually dropped by THUD to submit her strips. He was pleased with himself for remembering. It meant he actually had listened to her when they were dating and also that he wasn't that much of a douche.<p>

Sitting down on the front porch, he waited patiently to see her black convertible pull up beside the curb. He had no idea what he was going to say to her. Rima had given him some pointers but how exactly was he supposed to prove that he was a good guy? He always thought that that was what he had already been doing. He wasn't like his father, abandoning his children and being a general dick to everybody he met, and he wasn't like Ikuto. If anything, he was definitely a step up from Amu's last boyfriend.

What he had done may not have been right or harmless, but it most definitely wasn't even in the same league as Tsukiyomi.

When he caught sight of her car pull up, he stood up and waited at her door for her to approach him. She seemed to be preoccupied with something and didn't notice him until she was already on her way towards him. Unfortunately when she looked up, she didn't look pleased. The pinkette stopped in her tracks and began walking back to her car.

"Amu, please!" Kukai called out for her as she reached her gate. "Can we just talk for once?"

"I really don't want to talk about us, Kukai," Amu told him, "because all you're going to do is tell me how sorry you are and how you didn't mean to hurt me."

"No, I'm not." He replied. She turned, eying him suspiciously.

"What? You're here to tell me that you're not sorry?"

"I don't see why I should, considering that's what I've spent the last month doing. If you don't believe me by now, then you won't ever believe me."

"So what are you doing here?" she questioned.

"I want to talk to you about Utau. More importantly, you and Utau." Amu sighed and shook her head.

"That's none of your business."

"No, it's exactly my business because I kind of started it all. And I'm sorry that I did." He apologized sincerely.

"I don't want your apologies. I'm not taking them from Utau, and I'm not taking them from you on her behalf." She crossed her arms, "Now are you going to leave or am I going to have to get in my car?"

"I'm not leaving until you hear me out."

"Then the car it is," she turned and pulled out her keys.

"Fine, drive away and run from this discussion… but I'm going to be here for as long as it takes for you to listen to me and accept my apology."

"I thought _you _weren't apologizing," Amu shrugged as she turned back and drove away in her car.

* * *

><p>Amu found that there was only so long she could hide out at the graveyard before it gave her the creeps. She immediately regretted being the one who left, especially since the temperature had dropped a good five degrees and she'd only brought a thin jacket along with her. She wondered if there was anywhere else she could hide out. Knowing Kukai, he probably would still be there and she just didn't want to see his lying, cheating, pleading face.<p>

Deciding that at 7.15 in the evening was long enough to spend freezing her behind off in a graveyard, she made her way home, all the way hoping Kukai had given up and gone home. Or possibly frozen to death.

Maybe that was a little harsh. After all, she _had_ loved him… until he went behind her back and cheated on her with her best friend. Her _best_ friend who was probably laughing at her right now.

She had definitely had enough of them and their stupid, worthless apologies.

As she pulled up to her house, she was both surprised and disappointed with the fact Kukai was no longer there. Of course she wanted to see the back of him, but another part of her wondered whether he was really that committed to anyone. He'd made this big speech about wanting to discuss her friendship with Utau and promised to stay outside until she returned but he was nowhere to be seen.

Feeling slightly vindicated that her ex-boyfriend could not stick to all his promises, she walked briskly down the footpath just in case he popped up from somewhere. She got to her front door before she spotted a figure stand up from out of the corner of her eye. She jumped and let out a shriek as the figure came into the light.

It was definitely not Kukai.

The girl was far too small and petite to be Kukai.

Instead, it was Rima Mashiro who had sat outside Amu's house awaiting her return.

Trying desperately to recover from the shock of somebody there, Amu narrowed her eyes and looked at her. The tutor didn't look happy.

"Are you and Kukai taking shifts or something?" Amu questioned, her hands placed on her hips as if to make a point.

"He only left twenty minutes ago. His mom was calling him for dinner." Rima explained.

"And you're here because…?" the pink haired girl attempted to get answers so she could go inside.

"I need to talk to you." Rima replied with a strange calm tone.

"That seems to be what everybody wants to do these days. Lucky me!" she commented dryly. It didn't seem to amuse Rima. "What do you want to talk about? Let me guess… Kukai?"

"I think we should do this inside, don't you?" the tutor suggested.

"I'm fine outside." Amu attempted to stand her ground.

"I think it'd be wise to go inside because I'm not very happy right now and there could be yelling. Unless you want your neighbors to hear exactly what I think of you, we should go inside."

"I don't need this, Rima." Amu shot back. "I'm tired, I'm cold and I've had enough crap to deal with this past month than you ever have. So just go back to Kukai, tell him I'll deal with him when I'm ready to."

Rima didn't move so Amu simply sighed and opened her front door, planning to slide in and leave the girl outside. She did not need a lecture from Kukais' best friend. And anyway, why was it any of her business in the first place.

Amu didn't count on Rima being so quick and was surprised when she held the door open and let herself in after her. Amu gave an annoyed grunt but let the girl remain in the house. She wasn't particularly keen on having to open the door and let the cold in, especially when her skin was already starting to tingle from the warmth radiating through the house. Rima seemed pretty pleased with being inside too.

"So are you going to apologize on Kukais' behalf? Maybe Utau's too since nobody wants to apologize for themselves anymore." Amu commented.

"Kukai told me what happened. That he came over to try and smooth things over but you refused to listen to him and walked away." Rima began.

"I've heard all of his excuses." Amu crossed her arms over her chest.

"No, you haven't. You haven't heard a thing! He's really trying to make amends but how is he supposed to do that if you can't even hear him out?"

"Kukai has what he wanted. He made it pretty clear last time he was here that he's so in love with Utau and couldn't wait to break up with me so they could go off into the sunset together. He doesn't give a crap about me, he just wants to make it seem like he isn't a lying, cheating scumbag." Rima sighed.

"He cares about you a lot, Amu. What he did was pretty low, but take a look at what he's lost. Look at what you've lost. Look at what Utau's lost. This situation was never about winning. Nobody right now is happy and it's nobody's fault either. Utau is your best friend. I know what it's like to feel disconnected from your best friend but to push her away completely is- there's just a lot of pain there. It doesn't mean it always has to be there." She said gently, trying to appeal to Amu's softer side.

"Utau stole my boyfriend." Amu shot back angrily. Utau was in the wrong. That was what this whole thing was about. Utau had taken away her boyfriend.

"No, she didn't. Not on purpose. You think that if she meant to do that she'd be completely miserable now? She values your friendship so much that she's completely closed off everything with Kukai - despite what she feels for him."

"So I'm supposed to be glad? Am I supposed to give her another chance because she hasn't acted on her feelings? It's not going to work that way, Rima. She hurt me, not only because she kissed my boyfriend, but because she lied to me. She let me go on thinking that Kukai loved me when she knew he didn't. That's what hurts the most."

"You have every right to be angry. They hurt you, but you know what? Now you're the bad friend - because you've ignored every apology the two of them have offered to you. You've been walking around like the victim for almost a month now. That's not fair. It's not even a proportionate response anymore. I know you can see what it's doing to Utau, and to do that to someone who's been your best friend for so long and not even swallow your pride long enough to reach out to her; it isn't fair. It's just _cruel_."

Rima looked at her with scorn and it made Amu feel a little ashamed of herself. She'd never seen her look at anyone that way. She wasn't even sure rima could look at someone like that.

"Rima, I know you're trying to help, but I fail to see what this has to do with you."

"I agree. My nose doesn't belong in this whole business, but Kukai is my best friend and I hate seeing him so upset all the time. It's going to start interfering with his school work and his basketball. I don't expect you to really care about it, but basketball means everything to him. Just like your art means a lot to you. Take your friendship or your CDs from him, but don't take that away from him."

"I don't think you can blame me for his performance on the courts."

"Well it doesn't take a genius to see that it's not just him. Utau's the least cheeriest cheerleader on the team. She barely smiles. We both know that's the furthest thing from her character."

"Considering I thought being loyal was part of her character, I think we can be proved wrong from time to time." Amu muttered. Rima wasn't impressed with that statement.

"I thought that as her best friend you'd know Utau a little better than that. You don't grow up with somebody and not know them inside and out. I know deep down in your heart you just want your best friend back. I don't understand why you won't just forget all this and reach out to her."

"Because… she hurt me. I'm not the one who needs to do the reaching out."

"I really felt bad for you, Amu. I did. I thought that it was a pretty crappy thing for Utau and Kukai to do, but you've taken this far enough. You can't keep acting like the victim for the rest of your life. A couple of days, perhaps a couple of weeks, and that's fine, but not this long. This is so far beyond about you now. Utau's lost the most important person in the world... it's only a matter of time before you lose her for good." Rima let the statement sink in before she let herself out of the door.

Amu wasn't quite sure what to think of her words. Part of her was mad and frustrated at having the girl butt into her business and yell at her like that, but another part felt ashamed to have someone like Rima – a girl who Amu really liked and respected – tell her how disappointed she was in her.

At a loss for words and unsure of what she should do in light of Rima's revelations, Amu went upstairs and did the only thing she could think of.

Paint.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Just one Chapter to go. I wrote these two final Chapters somewhat fast and I hope they are okay. Hope you like it. And just so you know, don't call Amu a bad friend or whatever, because if you see something like your best friend kissing your boyfriend, you don't want any explanations, because you're so hurt that it doesn't matter. She is just hurt and needs to explode like a vulcan to get her feelings across.<strong>

**Since there is only one Chapter to go, I'll probably update it the next few days when I've corrected it.  
><strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen:  
><strong>

Utau rubbed off the remains of the orange nail polish that she'd painted on her toenails a mere ten minutes ago in an effort to cheer herself up. She'd been pleased with the result for all of three minutes before grabbing the nail polish remover and rubbing it off, leaving her toes looking discolored and ill. She sighed and reached for another color, a bright blue, and started painting again.

As she reached the pinkie on her left foot, she heard an urgent rapping on her door. The sound made her jump and the nail polish extend the toenail area. With a groan, she glared at the door and vowed to ignore it. The person on the other side would have to wait until she could repaint the nail that had messed up. It didn't take long for Utau to take one look at the finished result, make a face, and start removing the nail polish again.

The person outside the door knocked again, this time more harshly. Utau simply glared at the doorway, the curtains across the window preventing her from seeing who it was. She hadn't quite reached the end of one foot when the knocking started to become annoying. Grabbing the nearest object she could find (a shoe), she threw it at the door, cringing when she realized that the heel at connected with the wood. She hoped it hadn't broken.

She crawled to the edge of her bed to inspect the damage when the door opened and out of the darkness emerged a face she had never expected to see.

"Amu, what are you doing here?" she didn't bother hiding the surprise in her voice. She couldn't quite place the look on her former-friend's face.

"I had to talk to you," Amu told her. Utau wasn't sure what to say, so instead she glanced at her clock.

"But… it's two in the morning."

"And you're painting your nails?" Amu's eyebrows came together as she frowned, spying all of Utau's nail polishes strewn across the bed.

"I couldn't sleep," she admitted as she began packing a few things away. A few moments of silence passed between them before Utau spoke again. "What are you doing here? Come to yell at me some more? Because Amu, I know what I did was wrong, and I'm so sorry I hurt you." Utau was on the verge of more tears. The shock of seeing her friend voluntarily in her room after more than a month's worth of silence.

She'd imagined this moment countless times since then. There had been several different speeches she'd thought she'd say. Some were apologetic, some were defensive, and some appealed to Amu's softer side. All of them wanted forgiveness.

But none of them were coming to mind not matter how she tried.

So instead she did what she did best. Ramble.

"You hate me. I hate that." Utau began, "And if I could go back and change things, I would. I would never have even spoken to Kukai or let him drive me to school. He was just being so nice and he said he just wanted to be friends and I believed him. I'm not trying to blame him, because I don't think he did it on purpose, but it all happened so fast and so suddenly, I wasn't sure what happened."

Before she knew it, Utau was on the verge of tears. Her voice had started to falter halfway through her speech and she hoped that Amu had heard all of that because she knew there was no way she could repeat it. She was just thrilled to have Amu standing in front of her.

The Pinkette didn't react and Utau began to worry.

"Amu, I-"

"I get it now." Amu said the words so numbly that Utau almost didn't believe her.

"I don't-"

"I get it. All of it. You and Kukai."

"There is no me and Kukai. I promise."

Amu gave a small nod and paced Utau's carpet as she chewed on her bottom lip. Utau watched the pacing with interest. She decided to let Amu speak first, mostly because she still had no idea what to say or what Amu had meant.

Eventually Amu stopped and turned back to her.

"Guess what I learnt today." She said. Utau gave a shrug. "I had someone come see me. Kukai was on my porch when I got home and he said that he wanted to talk to me… about you." The blonde looked away.

"What did he say?"

"I don't know. I left and when I got back, Rima was there. She really can lay on the guilt." The pinkette chuckled slightly before continuing, "Anyway, so she really let me have it. I guess I deserved most of it too and afterwards… well, afterwards I just… just _really_ needed to paint something."

"You never paint," Utau commented.

"But I needed to. I don't know, I just felt like doing it. And that'd when it hit me." Utau's breath hitched in her throat as she awaited the explanation of Amu's epiphany. "I was staring at my paint palette and I realized that contrasts are harmonious. I mean, we learnt it in art last year. I can't believe I didn't see it before."

"Amu, you know I don't speak art. Can you give me the English translation?" Utau asked. Feeling slightly thrown by Utau's request, Amu looked around the room to try and explain it. Picking up two of Utau's nail polishes, she held one up in each hand.

"Look at these. What are they?"

"Very expensive nail polishes. You're not going to throw them, are you?" Utau grew slightly worried. Amu's pacing had seemed to create a surge of adrenaline in the tall girl. To Utau's surprise, Amu laughed at the comment.

"No, look at them. This one is orange and this one is blue – and they work together."

"Uh, they really don't." Utau seemed unconvinced at Amu's comment. "I'd never wear blue and orange together."

"But they do! On the color palette, they're contrasting colors, and it's a well known fact that colors that contrast will work together. They're opposites. Opposites attract."

"Oh, that adage thing."

"Yeah, that adage thing. For some reason, it stuck with me tonight and I just couldn't shake that feeling. You and Kukai, you guys… you're made for each other."

"We are?" Utau said the words slowly, wondering if this was really Amu standing in front of her saying these things when the last month she'd barely been able to look at her.

"Believe me; I never would have believed it. You guys are two different extremes, but you're extremes that manage to meet in the middle and just create something… unique. Not a lot of people have that. Those things are kept for the Ikuto and Rima's of the world. But I guess you guys have it too."

"Have what?"

"Utau, you're orange. You are spontaneous and fun and exciting. Kukai… Kukai is blue. He's calm, rational and intellectual. I'm just… I'm black. I'm moody and dark and kind of a lost soul. And while black and blue work too, they don't work for long because nobody wants to stare at that. Kukai needs you to bring some of that light into the world, and you need him to tame you."

"You've lost me." Utau shook her head, trying to comprehend all of this. Amu's tone changed.

"I let myself get too comfortable with Kukai. Comfortable to the point where I got bored. I have no doubt that you'll keep each other on your toes. You might be a better match because of it."

"You got all this from nail polishes?" Utau questioned, earning another chuckle from Amu, something Utau was pleased to hear. However Amu's smile only lasted a few seconds before she got serious again.

"Do you care about Kukai?" Amu asked gently, though it seemed to blindside Utau.

"Of course not!" she shot back too quickly to be true. Amu sighed and shook her head.

"Don't lie to me. Not again. Do you care about him?" she pressed and made sure Utau knew that she expected to hear the truth from her friend.

"Yes." The blonde fought a fresh batch of tears. She knew how much it must hurt Amu to hear those words coming out of her mouth.

There was a short pause and then: "Do you love him?"

"I... I don't know." Utau admitted honestly.

"Could you?"

"Amu... how could I? Not when I know how much he means to you."

"Forget about me now. I mean, I won't lie and tell you that I'll feel nothing. But Utau, I think I've been angry long enough. Maybe too long. I don't feel the same way about him that I did when we were together. I guess if I think about it, my feelings about him had already changed by the time we'd broken up. I might have just been holding onto him because I thought the two of us had something because we had so much in common, and that if I let it go, I wouldn't find something like that again. I was mistaken. I know now that it's not just about what music we like or if he 'gets' my art. I can get that from just a friend."

"But you loved him so much."

"Once but not now. I don't think I ever will love him more than a friend. It's tough admitting that our relationship didn't work when everyone assumed it would - but I do have to let that go. Beside, after everything that's happened between me and him, I don't think we can ever go back to that." Amu made a little 'huh' sound at the end, surprised at her true feelings. Earlier in the day, she had never even wanted to see Kukai again, and now she was kind of looking forward to having him as a friend.

"Amu, I know that this is a huge step for you, and for me, and for us. As much as I love you being here and talking to me and saying these things… I don't… I don't get it."

"I guess today's been a really good day for surprises. And Rima was right; this has gone on for too long. I've acting like a bitch and I didn't hear you guys out when you tried to make it up to me. But you can understand why I was mad, right? I just felt betrayed, even if nothing happened physically, knowing he stopped caring about me and started loving you just-" Utau placed a hand on Amu's knee until she spoke again, "It broke my heart because, once again, someone in my life left me. That's why I was trying to hard to hold onto Kukai. I couldn't lose someone else."

"Amu…"

"I know I can't hide behind that excuse forever. People always leave and I just have to deal with it. But I felt you leave too. Even before I found out, I could feel you slipping and I didn't know why. That's why I exploded in the gym when you told me. I thought I'd lost both of you, when I guess I'm the one that pushed you out."

"You know you could never lose me, A. Hinamori."

"Even when I was at the top of your bitch list?"

"I think that might have been me." Utau added. "Does this mean we're friends now?" she wondered aloud. Amu shrugged.

"If you'll have me." She placed a hand on Utau's and sighed. "Do a favor for me? If you do decide to be with him, could you just wait like a week? I know it's probably really unfair of me to ask after everything, but I just... I lost you for so long. I just want us back on track before I lose you to a guy."

"You don't even have to ask. But are you sure you'll be okay with it? I mean, I haven't made up my mind about it or anything but if I did-"

"I guess I'll have my moments but I think we'll be good. In fact, I think I owe it to you guys for being such a bitch."

"Well, yeah." Utau raised her eyebrows and Amu shook her head.

"I hate you."

"You love me." The blonde teased, never letting go of her friend's hand. Now she'd had it back, she was never going to let it go again.

"Yeah... I do." Amu admitted, pulling her friend into a long awaited hug. Even though they had patched up their differences, they both knew deep inside that it wasn't going to be the same as it was. They'd have to work even harder to ensure that whatever had been broken this time would not weaken their friendship.

* * *

><p>Kukai drained the last of his beer and placed the empty glass on the bar. He roughly wiped at his mouth with his sleeve and ordered another. The bartender eyed him suspiciously but went to fill his glass anyway. Kukai was thankful that Utau had given him his fake ID before every thing had gone wrong. At least he had somewhere he could drown his sorrows in, even though this was the first time he'd put the ID to use.<p>

He had been surprised when Amu and Utau had shown up to school together on Monday morning. It had been slightly unexpected since Kukai had assumed his efforts had gone to waste after Amu dismissed him. As news of Utau and Amu's reunion spread through the school, Kukai wasn't the only one wondering where it left him. Nobody had dared to ask, of course, and since the two girls hadn't spoken to him nor even looked twice in his direction, he took it as a sign to back off.

Now it felt like he was a sophomore again; unnoticed, ignored and unwanted. The only difference was that now he was vying for Utau's attention – not Amu's.

Maybe it was better this way.

He could understand why neither of them wanted much to do with him since he was the one who had come between them in the first place.

He deserved nothing less.

But he just couldn't understand why they hadn't told him that to his face – or know what exactly had prompted their reunion.

A reunion that was well into its twelfth day, if any one of them was going to make a move, then it would have already happened. Now it was too late.

When the bartender placed his glass of beer in front of him, Kukai reached for his wallet, but the bartender stopped him.

"It's already been paid for. Some girl said you looked like you needed it," he explained. "Want me to repay the favor?" he questioned. Kukai shook his head.

"Tell her thanks, but no thanks. I'm off-women for a while." He muttered. The bartender shrugged and left Kukai to mope into his beer. It only took a few moments for someone to sidle up to him in the seat next to him and tut disapprovingly.

"You owe me a beer, you know," she said. Kukai turned to look at her as she reached across him, picked up his beer and took a long gulp from it. He stared at her a little dumbfounded at first but eventually found his voice again.

"That's my beer." Kukai reminded her.

"Did you pay for it?" she questioned. He didn't even shake his head, but continued to look at her. Neither were quite sure how to proceed. Too much had passed for them to slip back into their carefree, teasing stage. Or at least remain there for long.

"I, uh, I saw you and Amu made up." He commented, hoping that it would at least spark off a conversation. She nodded slowly.

"Yeah, we did. It was kind of a pleasant surprise. I thought for sure I'd lost her," she considered taking another sip of the beer but decided against it.

"I'm glad," he replied genuinely. "It's nice to see you happy again."

"Thanks."

"So… is there any reason you've been ignoring me or are you just-"

"Kukai-"

"-trying to kill me?"

"-I haven't been ignoring you."

"Yes, you have." He was trying his best not to accuse her or drive her away again but he just had to know. "Utau, you haven't once looked at me for a long time now. You and Amu are back together, there is no reason for us not to talk to each other."

"Kukai, I had lost my best friend. You had completely pulled out the rug from underneath me when you told me you loved me. You can't expect me to know what I want when I was so confused and hurt."

"And now?" he questioned.

"I'm still confused and I'm still hurt," she admitted, "but it is getting better." She sighed as she pushed the beer away from her. "The reason why I haven't talked to you since Amu and I made up is because I just got her back. She's the most important thing in my life and I still feel like I need to make it up to her. I might not have done anything wrong but it doesn't seem like that sometimes. Even being here right now makes me feel like the worst person in the world. But I am working on it."

"You think I'm not working on my own guilt?" he challenged, not to begin an argument but at least to prove his own scars were still healing. She nodded.

"We all do." Utau said gently "Listen, I just wanted to tell you that I was sorry about what I said... about not wanting to be with you?" she watched him flinch a little at the memory. "The thing is that I do want to be with you."

"So, what's the problem?"

"The thing is, you really hurt Amu, and you also hurt me. I just want to make sure you won't do that again."

"Of course not. I learnt my lesson." She seemed relieved at his answer.

"Good, because you know how I have all these walls around me? Before we really get into anything, I want to make sure that they're down. All of them. You're going to get my whole heart, Kukai; I need a guarantee that you won't break it."

At first she worried that he'd change his mind after being given this huge responsibility but instead he just nodded and gave her a small grin.

"So… where do we go from here?" he asked. She grinned widely and extended her hand.

"Hi, I'm Utau." She said brightly. Kukai chuckled, wondering if she was really going with this, and when he saw her waiting impatiently, he shook it with his own.

"I'm Kukai."

"So, Kukai, do you want to get out of here and talk? We could get to know each other a little better," she suggested, not breaking his grasp. She enjoyed the feeling that spread through her body, particularly at her fingers where the feeling carried all the way down to the pit of her stomach, filling it with warmth she'd thought was long gone.

He nodded and the two got up, her purse falling down to the floor. Bending down to pick it up for her, he noted something strange and as he straightened and handed her purse back to her, he questioned: "Your toenails."

"What about them?" Utau asked, concerned why he'd been looking at them and what exactly was wrong with them.

"They're painted orange _and_ blue?" he looked at her outfit. She was wearing neither color. Shrugging, she offered her reply.

"I just thought they looked good together."

**The End.**

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: So that was it. I'm so happy and thanks to all of you! Please look out to "My So Called Brother", this is my other Kutau fanfic, on which I'll concentrate now.<strong>

**Thanks to all of my beloved reviewers! x3**


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